


Waiting In Line

by anephemeralmind



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hand Jobs, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Unrequited Love, but i fixed it, the angst got away from me for a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:27:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23161696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anephemeralmind/pseuds/anephemeralmind
Summary: Timmy never really liked his soulmark, and spent most his life pretending he didn't have one. Then he meets his soulmate, and suddenly things aren't all that simple.
Relationships: Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer
Comments: 291
Kudos: 295





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know the tags are like 😩😩😩 but come on, it's me, since when the fuck can I do actual angst?
> 
> Spoilers: I can't.

Nobody knew where the soulmarks came from, or really why you got them. It seemed that one day, only a couple of generations ago, they had just appeared, overnight, out of nowhere.

Most people believed fully and wholly in their soulmarks, that they were foolproof, that fate had chosen someone perfect for them and the marks were a way to ensure that you found one another. 

To make sure that you got your happy ever after, which everyone out there longed for.

In reality, it wasn’t actually that simple.

In many cases, soulmarks didn’t match. Some people didn’t get one at all. Other times, soulmarks faded and disappeared. In a few cases, where the old soulmark had gone away, a new one would appear in its place – giving you a second chance at happiness.

You also had the really unlucky ones, who got soulmarks that were bright red, indicating that their soulmate had already passed. The worst was having a soulmark appear in black, only to turn bright red at a later time.

Timmy’s mark was still in black. Pauline’s was not.

His parents were soulmates, and believed in the marks with all their hearts. Timmy wasn’t that sure, he found the whole thing more than a little stifling, not to mention wholly unfair to all the people who never got a soulmate – or like Pauline, who never even had the chance to meet hers before it was already too late.

Mostly, he didn’t like the thought of not having a choice.

He’d woken up, aged 13, with his wrist hurting like a motherfucker – no one had told him the soulmark appearing would _hurt._ The name staring back at him, in a beautiful script, made his nose wrinkle slightly, because what in the shit kind of a name is Armand?

His dad had taken one look at it and laughed, “A French boy!” He’d said happily, ruffling Timmy’s curls, “Better keep up with your lessons then, huh?”

Pauline had smiled softly, tears welling up in her eyes as she absentmindedly rubbed her shoulder were her own mark was located, whispering wetly, “It’s black, you don’t even know how lucky you are.”

Timmy wasn’t really sure he agreed with her on that. She might not be able to meet her soulmate, but he feels like, in a weird way, even with her soulmate being dead, Pauline was the one that got the better end of the stick – because she now had a _choice_.

She was completely free to choose whoever she wanted when it came to love. Sure, technically so was he, since just because you had a soulmate, it didn’t always mean you got to meet them or be with them, and plenty of people got into relationships with people they weren’t matched with.

But most times, those relationships didn’t work out, because the soulmate would appear, or they’d just end up realizing that they weren’t, well, made for each other.

Timmy didn’t like the feeling that his whole life was already decided for him, he wanted to make his own choices, dammit – so for the longest time, he pretended he didn’t even have a mark. He covered it up with his watch, and stopped joining the family trips to France.

Even though soulmarks were a highly personal thing, it was also the first things people tended to ask about “Do you have a mark? Can I see it?” and since he’d decided to live his life as if he didn’t have one, he always answered no – it also meant, he never took his watch off unless he was at home alone.

Becoming an actor, he forgot to factor in the hair and make up part of it, and that sometimes, his characters didn’t even wear watches. Side effect of that, he became really fucking good at applying concealer.

He’d never been happier that when it came to shooting Call Me By Your Name, Luca seemed to agree that Elio would be the type of person who would cover his wrists in various bracelets, and a watch – the more shit he could cram onto his wrist, the better.

Meeting Armie for the first time was unlike anything else, and he should have realized it then. The sparks of electricity that shot down his spine the first time they shook hands, the way Armie’s smile lit up the entire room, how he couldn’t stop looking at him even though he could feel himself flushing like a fucking idiot.

He should have realized. But he didn’t.

A lot of that was because Armie wasn’t at all shy about showing off his own soulmark, it was right there, on his collarbone, written in big, bold, lettering – Elizabeth. So Timmy didn’t even consider the fact that what he was feeling was tied with anything other than Armie being Armie, an actual famous actor who he’d seen in movies at the cinema.

He was so sure he was just starstruck, that when Armie’s full name actually was revealed later that same day, he almost didn’t believe it.

“Ah, Armand, Timothée, you’ve met, good!” Luca smiled at the two of them, where they were sitting, feet dipped into the pool, reading through the script and discussing some upcoming scenes.

“Call me Armie, please.” Armie frowned, “Armand makes me sound like an old fart, I’m not even 30 yet.”

Timmy could feel himself freeze in place, everything else faded into the background, the only thing playing on repeat in his brain was Armie’s voice, saying “Armand makes me sound like an old fart.” Over and over and over.

Armie was Armand.

Armand was Armie.

Armie was his soulmate.

But Timmy wasn’t his.

In a way, he feels like it’s payback, for all the time he’s spent not even wanting a soulmate, and doing everything he could to try and forget, or hide the fact that he actually did have one. Of course fate would give him an unrequited one.

Who knew fate had a sense of humor?

When Pauline called just before Timmy was about to head to bed – He might have overdone it with the wine at dinner, and Armie might have looked a little worried about him, and he might have hated it and drunk even more – He tells her everything, even though he hadn’t really planned on sharing his discovery with anyone, since he’d decided on pretending none of this was even happening.

“I found him.” He slurs, laughing a little hysterically. “Fucking _Armand_ , I found him.”

“That’s great!” Pauline sounds way too fucking happy, and sober, and Timmy is just pissed the hell off by fucking everything, so he just snorts and shakes his head even though she can’t see him.

“Yeah, except it’s not.” He spits out, running a hand down his face as he sits down at the edge of his bed. “It’s Armie.”

“Wait, Hammer? Armie Hammer is your Armand? But isn’t he…” Pauline trails off, letting the silence speak for itself.

“Married?” Timmy snorts, “Yeah. To his _soulmate_.”

“Oh, Timmy.” Pauline sighs, “I’m so sorry.” The pity in her voice, the fucking _sympathy_ Timmy can feel pouring through the fucking phone, he _hates_ it.

Why is he even upset? He didn’t want a fucking soulmate, so why is the fact that he finds himself in an unrequited bond the worst thing that ever fucking happened to him? He should be happy. He got what he fucking wanted – he gets to choose. From now on, he’s actually free, just like he’s always dreamed of.

And yet, it still feels like his heart is tearing itself to pieces, and he _hates it._

“Don’t be, I never fucking wanted him in the first place. I’ll be fine.” He lies. He knows Pauline knows he’s lying, but thankfully, she lets him pretend for a little bit longer.

They say their goodbyes, and if Timmy cries himself to sleep that night? That’s only for him, and fate, to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Natasha Bedingfield's song Soulmate, cause, again, I am so imaginative. 
> 
> This should only have like, idk, 3 parts? (famous last words, watch it be 1500 like everything else) 
> 
> Also, hope you're all staying safe and healthy, and if you're currently locked up at home - like _a lot_ of us are right now - hopefully you're finding ways to entertain and distract yourself. 
> 
> I'll see you soon with the rest, and hopefully the next one won't be so sad. 
> 
> Also, same username on tumblr if you wanna chat, though I am notoriously bad at replying on time, but I try my best 😄


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering Timmy’s play is now also officially postponed (which lbr, considering the age of his costar, about goddamn fucking time) I figured some of you might need a little distraction piece, so, even though I wasn’t gonna post this until tomorrow, what the heck, have it today.

Timmy wakes up the next morning, with his pillow stuck to his face because it appears that once he stopped crying, he’s been drooling on it all night. It’s now got lovely stains of everything from tears, to snot, and drool all over it.

At least it was already time for laundry any way.

He can feel the glasses of wine he poured down his throat last night wanting to make a comeback up his esophagus, but somehow, he manages to keep it all down. His head is fucking killing him though, and he’s just about to search through his cabinets for some painkillers, when there’s a knock on his door.

Timmy finds himself frowning up at Armie when the door opens, out of all the people to come knocking on his door, he hadn’t expected it to be him. Sure, they were literally next door neighbors, and supposed to pretend to fall in love over the next couple of months, but, for some reason, in the midst of all the soulmate craziness, Timmy had kind of forgotten that they could, and probably should, actually hangout in their free-time too.

Getting to know Armie, possibly becoming his friend, it might end up being the death of him – because even before he realized who Armie actually was to him, he’d liked him a little too much. He felt himself wanting, no, _needing_ Armie’s constant attention, and he hadn’t understood why, until later.

The soulmark definitely explained why he’d felt so strongly that he needed to be around Armie, but it also meant he couldn’t fully trust his own emotions – and that? He hated that. That’s why he didn’t want a fucking soulmate in the first place, and to know, that even with an unrequited bond, it still made him lose his fucking head around Armie? He _hated_ it.

That’s why he’d had so much to drink at dinner, he’d hoped the wine would help numb his feelings, make him less desperate for Armie. But it hadn’t really worked, not even a little bit. And Timmy was _pissed_.

“Thought you might need this.” Armie hands over a bottle of water and some painkillers with a smile. He knew Armie was just trying to be nice, and if Armie hadn’t been his soulmate, Timmy would have appreciated the gesture.

Now though, not so much.

It makes his heart beat too fast, and the smile that threatens to take over his face isn’t even his own. He doesn’t like feeling this out of control. Who the fuck even is he at this point? He used to know himself inside out, and now he had all these feelings he had no idea what to do with.

Only thing he could do, was blame Armie. It was his fault. If he hadn’t been Timmy’s soulmate none of this would be happening!

Blaming Armie lasts for about half a second before his brain decided to get mad at himself for being rude to his soulmate instead.

Timmy takes the items with a muttered thanks, and downs them quickly, while Armie seems to have no problem at all making himself at home in Timmy’s apartment.

Having him in his space like this, it should feel more uncomfortable than it does – Timmy had never really liked having people in his space, that was part of the reason he dropped out of college. 

Having a roommate was only fun for a little bit, but he quickly missed having somewhere that was completely his own. He needed a place where he could just be alone and unwind without anyone bothering him and stealing what little energy he had left.

Clearly the choice to properly pursue acting also played a part in his decision to drop out, but, if he’d stayed in college, he would’ve had to request a single dorm, or even ask his parents for help with getting a place of his own.

Seeing Armie in his apartment like this, even though he’d only been living there for a couple of weeks, it should have been jarring, he should have wanted him to leave – but he doesn’t. Armie fits right in, he feels like he _belongs_. Timmy has never had that with anyone else before, not even his family.

“Are you okay, man?” Armie asks, and Timmy suddenly realizes he’s just been standing there, staring at Armie, like a fucking moron. He can only imagine what Armie must be thinking, probably worries that Timmy is a total freak, and that he never should have taken this job.

“Yeah, sorry.” Timmy shrugs, before plastering on a fake smile. “Just hungover, I guess.”

Armie frowns, narrowing his eyes as he looks Timmy up and down, clearly not believing a word he’s saying. “You sure? I mean, I know we don’t really know each other yet, but, you can talk to me, you know?”

“Yeah.” Timmy whispers, before clearing his throat. “Everything is fine, I promise.”

Armie’s concern shouldn’t feel this good, it shouldn’t make his heart beat double time and fill him with warmth. It shouldn’t make him want to fucking _cry_. But it does, and Timmy, well, he hates it.

He can’t hate Armie though, is the thing. He’s just too nice. Too sweet. Too beautiful. And dammit, Timmy just wants him to _like_ him.

He knows it’s not Armie’s fault that he’s Timmy’s soulmate, that he doesn’t deserve to have Timmy’s anger at the whole soulmate situation in general thrown in his face like he’s personally to blame for every single unrequited bond out there. He knows that.

But it’s hard, seeing him, knowing he’s it for him, but also knowing he means absolutely nothing to Armie in return. Armie is his _everything,_ he can feel it already, and they’ve only really known each other for about 16 hours or so.

It’s hard, to not take that frustration out on Armie, but he also doesn’t want to make Armie feel bad, because suddenly, even without wanting this stupid fucking soul bond, Armie’s happiness is as essential to Timmy as his own.

He knows it’ll get better with time, once he’s used to it, and maybe if he’s lucky, since it’s unrequited, the mark will fade and go away – He doubts it though, considering how he’s feeling already.

Deep down, he knows he’s going to love Armie for the rest of his life, and he just prays that Armie is going to let him. He doesn’t need Armie to love him back, because he already knows that’s never gonna happen, and while it does hurt, he’ll definitely find a way to come to terms with that later.

But, he also knows that there is no way that he can go back to not having Armie in his life at all after this. He’s gonna need them to stay friends, so, really, what he needs to do, is actually make sure they _become_ friends, and he can’t really do that by treating Armie as if he’s just killed his cat and spat in his face.

“Okay, so, maybe everything is not fine.” Timmy admits with a self-deprecating laugh, Armie starts to frown again, and opens his mouth to speak but Timmy quickly cuts him off. “It will be fine though, I promise you that. I also promise that I will take you up on your offer to talk about it if it doesn’t.”

“Yeah, okay, good.” Armie smiles, still looking slightly worried, but also mollified enough at Timmy’s promise to talk to him should he need it. “Do you need a hug?”

Timmy should say no, his heart isn’t ready for hugs yet, but fuck it, he’s weak, he _wants_ , so he nods.

Armie wrapping his arms around him, and pulling him into his chest, Timmy doesn’t think he’s ever felt more at peace. It’s like he fits into Armie’s arms perfectly, as if he was made for it, but he knows that’s not true. Armie very clearly belonged to someone else, was made to fit someone else.

Timmy knew being Armie’s friend – when what his soul ached for was something else, something _more_ – was gonna suck, and probably be harder than most everything he’d experienced in life so far, but, he was going to learn to deal with it.

He needs Armie in his life, and he’ll make sure to keep him there, whatever it takes. His heart may never fully recover, but it’ll be fine. It has to be.

They'd been sitting out on Luca's porch for hours, discussing the script, Elio and Oliver's love, as well as which scenes they were looking most forward to shooting, when Luca suggested they'd actually play out a scene for him. He wanted to see how well they did off script, and if they'd managed to _connect_ with their characters yet. Timmy definitely had no trouble locating Elio withing himself, and hoped it was just as easy for Armie as well.

It was almost weird, actually starting rehearsals. Not that he hadn’t been rehearsing before this, because he had. He’d practically been living and breathing Elio for a good few weeks already, but having Armie arrive, having _Oliver_ there for the rehearsing, it was just… It made everything more real.

He should have known Luca was up to something the second he grinned up them from his garden chair, and told them to turn to a specific page in the script. But in his excitement to finally get to act opposite Armie, to actually interact with Oliver, he completely forgot just how evil the Italian could be.

When he flips open his script, finds the correct page, and sees what’s written there, he feels his jaw drop. He thought he’d have more time to prepare for _that._ Armie just laughs, as if it’s one of the funniest jokes he’s heard in a while. “Of course you’d choose this one.” Armie chuckles, grinning over at Timmy and nudging his shoulder with his elbow. “Guess you better pucker up, Timo.”

“Timo?” Timmy frowns, and Armie shrugs. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, but no one has really called him that before, and he doesn’t fully understand what’s even happening.

“I’m trying it out.” Armie smiles, and out of the corner of his eye Timmy can see Luca grinning widely. “Timothée is too much, you know, stiff upper lip, so you need a nickname. But everyone else calls you Timmy, and I want something that’s just mine.”

“Oh.” Timmy says, feeling like an idiot, but Armie is still smiling, so he shrugs. “I mean, okay. You can call me that if you want.”

“Cool! Now, lets go make out.”

Timmy should have known, from the hug back at his apartment, that he wasn’t at all ready to kiss Armie yet. He tried so fucking hard to hang on to Elio as he said his lines, but the second Armie’s lips touched his, Elio disappeared. He could definitely tell that it was Armie he was kissing, and not Oliver, so at least he wasn’t alone in losing control a little bit – which was both comforting, and a little worrying.

It was one of the best kiss Timmy had had in years, Armie’s lips molded perfectly against his own, their tongues danced around each other as if they’ve never done anything else, and Timmy could feel himself growing hard in his boxers.

When he tried to pull away, Armie let out a whine and pulled him closer, grabbing Timmy’s hips and rolling them over so Timmy’s back was against the grass with Armie carefully holding himself up above him, not to crush him with his weight.

Their lips didn’t separate once.

Timmy has no idea how long they’d been rolling around in the grass, furiously making out like a couple of horny teens, but when they eventually break apart, both of them panting for breath – with a stubborn string of spit connecting their mouths, until Armie runs his thumb across his bottom lip, breaking it – they find themselves completely alone.

Rolling over onto his back, Timmy pants for breath as he looks up at the sky and wills his heart to slow back down to normal. It’s eerily quiet out here, the only thing he can hear are the birds, and Armie trying to control his breathing right next to him.

He can’t hear Luca at all, which… Shit, _Luca._

“Where did he go?” Timmy breathes out in question, craning his neck to see if he could spot Luca anywhere. But there’s nothing. Just nature, and Armie.

He doesn’t know if he’s completely mortified at the fact that Luca just left them there, kissing like there was no tomorrow, or grateful that he didn’t interrupt. Maybe a little of both.

“Who?” Armie had seemingly forgotten Luca had even been there in the first place, and Timmy can’t help but snort.

“Dude, _Luca!_ He must’ve just left.”

Armie’s eyes go wide, and he looks around just like Timmy did just seconds before, then he pulls his phone out of his pocket, chuckling down at the screen. “Apparently we’ve been making out for nearly 15 minutes, he must’ve gotten sick of waiting.”

“15 minutes?!” Timmy almost can’t believe it, there’s no way that was 15 minutes, it felt like no time at all. He wonders if Luca even tried to get them to stop, or if he just left them to it. He has a sinking feeling it’s the latter.

“Mhm.” Armie hums, reaching out and cupping Timmy’s cheek, making his face flush immediately. “You’re a good kisser, I could’ve gladly kept going.”

The heat in Armie’s eyes makes Timmy’s knees weak, and he’s never been happier for the fact that they’re already sitting down. “I… We should go find Luca.”

When they stumble through Luca’s back door, the living room is already filled with people who are there for an early dinner, and Timmy feels Armie’s hands settle on his hips as they introduce themselves. Timmy had already met most of them at one dinner party or other in the weeks he’d been here without Armie, but since Armie had just arrived, he’d only met one or two of them at dinner the night before.

Timmy corners Luca in the kitchen later, once dinner has been served and it’s time to get some more wine. He hands Luca the bottle opener, and watches as he expertly opens it without breaking the cork – Timmy was notorious for getting the cork stuck in there, and was no longer allowed to open any wine at Luca’s house.

“What was the point?” He asks as Luca lifts the bottle up to his nose for a quick whiff, when he raises an eyebrow, Timmy rolls his eyes. “Earlier, what was the point in having me and Armie rehearse if you were just gonna leave?”

“It wasn’t for me, caro, I did it for you.” Luca smiles, and sets the bottle of wine back down on the counter before gently grabbing Timmy’s shoulder. “For the both of you.”

This time Timmy is the one who raises his eyebrow, making Luca laugh. “Come on, I’m an old man, I know soulmates when I see them.” Timmy feels his whole body go cold, and opens his mouth to protest, he’d already told Luca he doesn’t have a soulmate, how the fuck could he possibly…

Luca just shakes his head at him, and keeps talking. “Timmy, the two of you? Your souls are just the same as Elio and Oliver’s, two halves of one whole.”

No matter how much Timmy wishes that to be true, he knows it’s not. So with a shake of his head, he looks over at Luca, and rolls his eyes again for good measure. “Yeah, you know, normally that’d be great, lovely, all that sappy shit – there’s just one problem, Armie already has a soulmate, and it ain’t me.”

Luca just hums, still smiling, ruffling Timmy’s curls before turning to pick up the bottle of wine he’d put down earlier. “Fate works in mysterious ways, Timothée, but you’ll see, you are as much made for him as he is for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this part was gonna be less sad, but it wasn't really, was it? Sorry. Timmy just had a lot of _feelings_. I wish I could say the next part is much fluffier, but, like, there's still _stuff_ to be dealt with. So, no. Working on it tho.
> 
> And yes that does mean this isn't gonna be just a 3 parter, but, it shouuuuuld be just 4 parts. Provided everything goes the way my planning suggest, which it never fucking does, so we'll see!
> 
> Also, yes, I know Luca isn’t actually old, but like, you hit a certain age and you’re just gonna call yourself a grandma/grandpa, it happens.
> 
> Social distancing going well? Everyone keeping themselves entertained locked up at home? My life is literally exactly the same, so, good to know what my lifestyle is called. Quarantine. Lovely. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope to have the next part up within just a couple of days ❤️


	3. Chapter 3

It turns out that Timmy didn’t need to worry about befriending Armie, because Armie had already decided they were best friends.

He kept pulling Timmy in for hugs, laying his arm on Timmy’s shoulder while they talked with various crew members, and when Timmy asked him – during their now nightly movie night at Armie’s apartment – if he didn’t want to maybe have some time alone or even hang out with someone else, Armie just looked at him as if he’d suddenly started speaking Latin.

“Why would I wanna hang with anyone else?” He’d said, confusion written all over his face. “I already have you.”

“I just… I don’t want you to get sick of me. I guess.” Timmy had shrugged, cursing himself for even opening his mouth in the first place.

Armie had just smiled, ruffled Timmy’s curls, and given his shoulder a squeeze before speaking so softly that Timmy almost thought he’d imagined it. “Not gonna happen, man. Trust me.”

When Luca had jokingly asked them the next day at rehearsal, if maybe it was time to start hanging with some of the other cast members, Armie had just laughed and shook his head. “Nah man, as the only English speaking people here, me and Timo, we need to stick together.”

Luca had turned to Timmy and grinned widely, because they all knew what shit of an excuse that was – Armie and Timmy weren’t the only English speaking people there by a long shot – not that Armie seemed to care that it didn’t hold up at all. He just grinned widely back at Luca and shrugged, before wrapping his arm around Timmy’s shoulder and pulling him close. “So, sorry man. I know he’s great and everything, but I already called dibs, he’s mine now, you can’t have him.”

Timmy knew that Armie had just been joking, but hearing the words ‘he’s mine’ come out of his mouth, it made his heart beat double time, and all he wanted to do was let the goofy smile that was threatening to take over his face roam free. He tried his best to fight it, because he shouldn’t fucking enjoy being talked about as if he was a possession, something for other people to own, but fuck it. It was Armie, and Timmy was quickly learning that he was always the exception to every single one of Timmy’s rules.

Judging by the look on Luca’s face, Timmy hadn’t managed to stop the smile at all, but then Luca fucking noticed everything, so, really, the tiniest micro expression would be enough for him to completely expose himself.

Timmy had hoped it would get better with time. That the more he hung out with Armie, the more he’d get used to Armie’s tactile ways, and it wouldn’t affect him as much. He was wrong.

Every single touch burned his skin, but in the best possible way. All Armie would have to do, was touch his shoulder, and Timmy could feel that touch for days, almost as if it got tattooed on his soul. Which, actually, wouldn’t surprise him at this point, with how fucking stupid the soulmarks were, maybe someone’s soulmate actually did leave imprints on the other person soul, only unlike the mark, these ones weren’t visible, but a secret, only for them to know about.

Not that Armie knew, obviously. Timmy wasn’t ever planning on telling him, he liked being his friend too much. Even though it did sometimes hurt to have to go home to his own apartment, knowing that Armie was in bed, happily talking to his wife on the phone. Probably having phone sex, or making future plans.

Plans Timmy would never be a part of.

Filming, and pretending to fall in love with Armie, it’s… It should be more difficult. It shouldn’t be so fucking easy to pretend to love someone. “Maybe it’s because you’re not really pretending.” Luca says with an infuriating wink when Timmy airs out his frustrations after a long day of being Elio and pining over Oliver.

“Oh fuck you.” Is all Timmy says before he turns and leaves, Luca’s laughter following him all the way outside.

It’s not like he didn’t already know he was falling in love. He thinks he fell in love the first time their eyes met, and having to be Elio, while being able to fully identify with every single one of his emotions in regards to Oliver, he’d be a fucking moron not to realize he loved Armie.

He knew it would happen, because Armie was his soulmate, so of course he was going to fall for him – and that was part of what made him so angry. How was he supposed to know if his feelings were actually real, or just a byproduct of some stupid fucking genetic anomaly nobody could find a scientific explanation for?

The thought of being brainwashed by his own fucking emotions? It scared him more than a little. How could he be sure of anything, if he couldn’t even trust himself?

There had been research, lots of it in fact, where people had tried to locate the soulmate gene and work out exactly how soulmates were picked and why certain people matched. It hadn’t gone well. Not to say they hadn’t located the gene, because they were pretty sure they had, but the data they had managed to collect was completely useless, because it didn’t explain a fucking thing.

The romantics said that was because it was up to fate, and science could never explain love. Scientists claimed they just hadn’t come up with the proper hypotheses yet, but that they would, eventually.

Timmy didn’t give a shit either way, all he knew was, his emotions weren’t his own, and he hated that.

He hated it so much, he even tried avoiding Armie for a few days, but that only ended up with Armie cornering him on set and when Timmy tried to sneak passed him to quickly run away and hide, Armie had simply hoisted him up onto his shoulder, and carried him off to an empty room.

Watching Armie standing in front of the door, arms crossed in front of his chest, and a sad look on his face, Timmy felt like he was about to die. Literally, he was choking on the tears that were desperately trying to make their way up to his eyes and down his cheeks.

“Did I do something wrong?” Armie whispered, voice so full of pain it cut Timmy to the core. “I don’t understand, I thought…” Armie cuts himself off, swallowing deeply, before rubbing his hands across his face.

“It’s… It’s not you.” Timmy says weakly, feeling like a complete and utter idiot, because what a fucking cliché of an excuse. “It’s, I… _Elio_.” He says in the end, figuring that’s the easiest way to get out of this situation, to blame someone that doesn’t even exist.

Catching Armie’s eyes, Timmy tried his very fucking best to look as earnest as possible, which thank you acting classes, and he just hoped that Armie couldn’t see right through him. “It’s been hard, for me, lately, to separate my own feelings from Elio’s, and hanging out with you… It’s, it’s just, it’s not _you_.”

“Okay.” Armie nodded, face still clouded with sadness, and Timmy could feel his heart breaking into a million pieces. “I just, I miss you, man. I don’t like _this –_ the distancing. It’s, Timmy, it’s like you’re breaking my heart here.”

Hearing the _pain_ in Armie’s voice, tears immediately sprung to life in Timmy’s eyes, and he found himself throwing his arms around Armie, and clinging to him with a desperation he’d normally be embarrassed about. But in that very moment, nothing mattered more to him, than making sure Armie was okay.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, over and over again, holding Armie in his arms as they both struggled to contain themselves. “I never… I didn’t… Hurting you was never my intention, I hope you know that.”

“Just please don’t do it again.” Armie’s voice is so broken, that if there had been anything left of Timmy’s heart at this point, it would have completely shattered. As it were, the only thing left to break, was his soul, and it fucking _hurt_. “Just, please, I don’t… _I can’t_.”

“I promise.” Timmy says quietly, holding Armie’s face between his palms, watching as his bottom lip started wobbling. “I’m never gonna leave you.”

He knew it was too heavy, and that it didn’t mean the same to Armie as it did to him, but he still meant every word. As long as he had a choice, he’d stay by Armie’s side forever, no matter how painful it would get – because nothing could ever hurt more than this, right now.

The rehearsal for the midnight scene got a little out of control, and by a little, Timmy means a lot.

One minute they were sitting in Armie’s bed – because Timmy had accidentally spilled wine all over his couch – talking about how to best block the scene, how tactile they should be prior to kissing, and so on and so forth. They had some minor disagreements, but they agreed to leave it up to Luca to decide on those things, because knowing him, everything they’d come up with would be scrapped regardless.

Then next thing Timmy knows, they’ve got their shorts down by their ankles, their dicks in their hands, jerking off – all because Armie said that to act something out, and have it feel authentic, you should stick as close to the truth as possible. “And how can I pretend to get you off, to fuck you, if I’ve never even seen you come?”

It doesn’t actually make any fucking sense, what so ever, but fuck if Timmy’s complaining.

Timmy doesn’t know what comes over him, when he rubs his index finger over his slit, making it all wet with his precome and holds it out towards Armie lips, but clearly all of his fucks – and brain cells – have completely left his body, and he’s operating purely on all-consuming lust.

He can see Armie’s eyes darken as they focus on the way his finger is glistening with precome, and his breath hitches in his throat as Armie slowly leans in, stopping himself just before his mouth touches Timmy’s finger, raising an eyebrow in question, almost as if he’s checking that Timmy is actually okay with this – which, considering everything that’s happened before this, it’s a little late for second thoughts.

“Like you said before, authenticity, how can you pretend to suck me off, if you don’t know how I taste?” Timmy has no idea how he even managed to get the words out, but he knows he’s never heard his own voice be quite that low and husky.

Armie clearly doesn’t need to be told twice, and his lips immediately envelops Timmy’s finger, sucking it into his mouth, making them both moan. Feeling Armie’s tongue against the pad of his finger tip, Timmy can’t help but imagine how it would feel on his dick, and he comes shortly after, spilling all over his hand with a low, throaty, groan.

He’s still a little out of it, when Armie grabs his wrist, and drags his messy hand towards himself, but as soon as his brain makes the connection as to what is about to happen, it goes back offline immediately because _holy fucking shit_.

Armie nods breathlessly when Timmy silently asks if he’s sure about this, because what is about to happen is a far cry from some mutual masturbation – granted, offering Armie a taste of himself probably crossed a few lines as well, but this, this was so far over the line you couldn’t even see it any more.

There would be no coming back from this, and they both knew it.

Wrapping his come soaked hand around Armie’s dick is unlike anything he’s ever done before, feeling the hot weight of it in his hand, and hearing Armie moan for him – it’s hotter than the time he had a threesome with his college roommate and his girlfriend, even though it’s just barely a hand job.

Spreading his come all over Armie’s dick, it makes the most primal urges Timmy didn’t even know he possessed come to life, and it’s almost as if he can hear his soul purring in pleasure at the fact that he is openly claiming Armie – marking him, as much as Armie had put his mark on Timmy. Even though he didn’t know that yet.

“Fuck, Timmy, you’re so good.” Armie groans, pumping his hips, and Timmy stares in fascination at how his dick slides through his grip – the way the head of his dick keeps appearing and disappearing, leaving Timmy’s hand even messier than before.

He’d never known Armie would be so wet for him. Timmy desperately wants to put his mouth on him, _taste_ him, but he knows this is not the time. It might never be the time, and he’ll have to accept that. He’s already gotten way more than he ever fucking expected.

When Armie comes, it’s like time stands still. The way all the muscles in his abdomen clenches, making him look so fucking hot, while his dick is spurting come all over Timmy’s hand, Timmy almost forgets to breathe.

In the afterglow, they don’t speak, both of them too preoccupied with catching their breath. But Armie doesn’t kick him out after they’ve cleaned up and put their clothes back on, so Timmy counts that as a win – maybe things don’t have to change, or be awkward, maybe this is just who they are now.

But then Elizabeth shows up the next day, as a surprise, and Timmy gets hit in the face with reality. It doesn’t matter that he jerked Armie off last night, because Armie isn’t his. Will never be his. A hand job in the dark of night is all he’s ever going to get.

All he wanted to do was return Armie’s notebook, because he knows Armie had been looking for it earlier, and he’s so used to just walking directly into Armie’s apartment without even knocking – because they stopped locking their doors ages ago – but standing there, in the doorway, he suddenly wishes he’d never opened the fucking door in the first place.

Hearing Elizabeth tell Armie she’s pregnant, it’s got to be the worst pain he’s ever felt. He doesn’t even know why. He always knew Armie didn’t belong to him, he knew he had family, a wife, a _soulmate_ , so why does this make his throat close up and his heart stop beating?

He must have gotten too caught up in this bubble they’d created for themselves, where the outside world doesn’t matter. Where they were Elio and Oliver, who _loved_ each other. He must’ve just forgotten, for a second, that it wasn’t real, and that second was all it took to completely crumble the walls he thought he’d put up to protect himself.

It had been so easy to forget, is the thing. Because Armie got his soulmark covered up every day, since Oliver didn’t have one. Despite everything he’d told himself that first day, he had somehow forgotten that Armie wasn’t his, and being presented with the fact that he’s not, it shouldn’t feel like a punch in the gut, or a knife through his heart, but it does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I did say this wasn't gonna stop being painful yet, so, sorry? 
> 
> God, I hate angst so much why am I doing this to myself asmljfdslkfsdjkgns
> 
> Anyway, so, _pain_ , at least I gave you some mild porn to even it out?
> 
> How on earth will we ever fix this? ~~I mean, I know, but shhh~~
> 
> You can find me on tumblr with the same username, but I’m really good at forgetting to check it 🙃


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asjhdjkfhdskjf I'M SORRY

“Pregnant?” Armie’s voice sounds all wrong, garbled, pained, and just _wrong_. But Timmy can’t say for sure that he’s not just projecting his own feelings onto him, because surely, he’d be happy about his soulmate having his baby?

Armie loves his daughter more than anything, Timmy knows that, so of course he’d be happy about having more kids. Timmy is the only one who’s not happy about that, and he hates himself for it. Armie deserves more children, and even if by some miracle they actually had matched, Timmy could never give him that.

How can he be mad at Elizabeth for providing Armie with the life he’s clearly always wanted? For giving him children, and the life fate had chosen for him. It’s not her fault that her husband is Timmy’s soulmate as well, he shouldn’t hate her, but he can’t help it.

He feels fucking horrible for it, and he vows to never let anyone know – except Luca, because fuck knows you can’t hide shit from him even if you tried. Timmy will be happy for Armie once he tells him about the baby, he will, and nobody will ever have to know that he’s slowly dying on the inside.

Sneaking back out of Armie’s apartment, Timmy tries to be as quiet as possible, he doesn’t think they heard him, but he locks his own door behind him just in case. The last thing he needs is for Armie to burst in here before he’s managed to get his game face on, that would literally ruin everything.

He had known, he had always known, that Armie wasn’t his – he never should have let his guard down and allowed himself to forget, to pretend that maybe, he wasn’t as alone in this as he thought.

Not that it ever really mattered, the bubble was going to have to burst sooner or later, and it was probably for the best that it happened now, before Timmy managed to do something really stupid – like show Armie his mark.

He had wanted to, is the thing, he had felt the urge to lay his hand in Armie’s, to let him remove all his bracelets, and trace his own name on Timmy’s wrist. He’d dreamed about it, even, several nights in a row.

Timmy had seen it, so clearly, in his minds eye, how Armie would smile up at him with so much love in his eyes, and pull him in for a kiss. How he would whisper into Timmy’s ear and tell him that he loved him, had always loved him, that from the moment they met, Armie’s soul was forever changed.

It was so vivid, and it felt so real, that when he woke up, he almost couldn’t tell reality from fiction. Coming back down from that high had been brutal, and reality had never seemed so bleak, had never hurt quite that much.

Until today. Hearing the words, “We’re having another baby! I’m pregnant.” He’d never really known that words could have such power, but suddenly he knew what his next nightmare was going to consist of.

Happiness was a thing of the past, Timmy was sure of it – not that he’d had much of it before either, but at least then he was able to pretend, he’d lost that now too.

Surprisingly, Armie doesn’t mention anything about Elizabeth, or the baby, during their shoot that day, and Timmy has no idea how to go about bringing it up, since he’s not supposed to really know in the first place.

When she doesn’t show up for the post shoot dinner either, Timmy starts getting properly confused. He knows he didn’t hallucinate seeing her in Armie’s apartment, and he definitely didn’t imagine hearing her telling Armie they were having a baby, so where the fuck was she?

Armie didn’t seem like he was waiting for anyone, though it did look like he might be saving her a seat, but when Timmy had tried to sit somewhere else, leaving the space next to Armie open for Elizabeth, Armie had frowned at him and pointed at the chair next to him. “I saved you a seat, or did you forget that your place is here with me?”

He has no idea how to bring up the subject of Elizabeth without letting Armie know that he’d overheard them earlier, and that just feels like too much of a breach of privacy, so he can’t bring himself to do it.

In the end, Luca is the one to bring her up, and Timmy really starts to wonder if the man isn’t just plain psychic, because what the literal shit?

“So, Armie, your wife, she gonna come visit us soon? You know, Italy, very romantic.”

Timmy doesn’t think anyone else notices the way Armie’s face falls for just a split second, before he plasters on a wide – and very fake – smile. Well, no one besides Luca that is, because his eyebrow slowly starts to raise, just as Armie clears his throat to answer the question.

“Nah, man. She, uh, she can’t make it, unfortunately.” Armie shrugs, and Timmy frowns, because he literally just saw her that morning, so why is Armie sitting here lying his ass off about it?

It doesn’t make any sense. She’s his wife, his _soulmate_ , he should want to show her off. The idea of getting to show her all the beautiful places he and Timmy had discovered while biking around the town, it should make him excited and giddy, he should want to spend as much time with her as possible – especially after not having seen her for over a month.

And yet…

It doesn’t seem that Armie even wants people to know she’s here, let alone that she’s pregnant, and Timmy just does not understand. The fact that his soulmate is pregnant with his baby should make Armie so happy that he wouldn’t be able to talk about anything else – he should be gushing about it constantly, but he isn’t, and that…

As much as the fact that Elizabeth is pregnant had hurt him, Armie’s seemingly indifferent attitude towards it almost hurts him more.

This just isn’t the person he thought Armie was, nor the type of soulmate he’d be, but maybe he’s been blurring the lines between Armie and Oliver for so long now, that he’s just been seeing what he wanted to see.

Maybe what he desperately needed was for Armie to be a _good_ soulmate, even though he wasn’t his, because at least then, he could say that the universe had chosen well for him – despite the fact that he’d been completely fucked over, because at least Armie was a good person.

But this? He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with this.

Luca just shrugs at Armie’s comment, not seeming to care one way or another that Elizabeth wouldn’t be joining them, and the conversation quickly moves on. Soon enough, dessert is brought out, but Timmy has completely lost his appetite, and quietly excuses himself from the table.

All he wants is to go home, back to his apartment, so he can be alone with his thoughts. More specifically, he doesn’t want to be anywhere near Armie until he’s got his emotions under control, because if Armie corners him now, before Timmy has gotten a better grip on everything, god fucking knows what could come spilling out. And despite everything, he can’t fucking risk that.

So of course, Armie immediately follows him inside.

As he places a comforting hand on Timmy’s lower back, Timmy finds himself tensing up, and flinching away from Armie’s touch, which has never happened before, so of course it immediately sends up huge red warning signs, and normally the look of worry on Armie’s face would warm his heart, but now…

Well, it just pisses him off to be honest.

“Is everything alright?” Armie whispers, and Timmy almost wants to snort out a laugh, because things really haven’t been _alright_ in quite a while – if ever.

With a shrug, Timmy turns to face Armie, trying his best to remain nonchalant, while crossing his arms in front of himself. “I don’t know, Armie, you tell me.”

“What?” Armie’s eyebrows knit together in a frown, clearly not following at all, making Timmy sigh and shakes his head, which in turn only serves to make Armie’s frown lines even deeper. “Timmy, what are you talking about? What’s going on?”

“I just – I didn’t take you for a liar, that’s all.” Timmy shrugs again, he thinks he’d be more embarrassed about the hurt coloring his words, if Armie didn’t immediately flinch back as if he’d been punched in the face.

Clearly, whatever was going on between them, Armie wasn’t completely unaffected, which… It should make him feel better, but it doesn’t, somehow, it just makes everything that much worse.

“You know.” Armie whispers, and while he doesn’t phrase it as a question, Timmy still nods.

“I know.”

Armie runs a nervous hand through his hair, sucking in a deep breath, clearly struggling to find the right words to start his sentence. Timmy really doesn’t envy him, because has no idea what Armie could even say at this point to make anything about this situation any less fucked up, he knows he’s not completely innocent himself, but he also wasn’t the one with the pregnant soulmate.

“Shit. Okay, look, I was…” Armie starts, but Timmy just snorts, cutting him off before he could even try to come up with any lame excuses – because if he’s being honest with himself, if he’d let Armie talk, let him make his excuses, he’d end up believing him.

He’d forgive anything, as long as Armie asked for it. He knows he would, and… Honestly, Timmy could already feel his resolve slipping, his anger letting up, and it was just so fucking unfair. He had every fucking reason to be pissed off right now, he did!

He might not have ever met Elizabeth, and at this rate he doubted he ever would, but he still knew she deserved better than whatever the fuck was going on between him and Armie at the moment. He deserved better too, but he can’t exactly say he was completely without fault, so, maybe he was just getting what he deserved.

Timmy never should have let himself lose sight of reality, of the fact that Armie wasn’t his, and he’s not sure he’s ever going to be able to forgive himself for that. Especially not now that there’s an innocent child on the way. He fucked up, he knows that, and he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to make up for it.

But Armie? Armie doesn’t seem to want to face the consequences of his actions, and Timmy doesn’t know what to do with that. On one hand, he wants Armie to choose him, but he’s not sure Armie ever would. Yeah, they’d gotten off together, but what did that really mean? It wasn’t exactly a grand romantic gesture.

And the fact remains, Timmy isn’t Armie’s soulmate, Elizabeth is. Which poses a completely different set of questions, because if Armie can treat his soulmate like this, like she’s nothing, why the fuck should Timmy even want to be with him? And who’s to say he wouldn’t turn around and do the exact same thing to Timmy later?

After all, in comparison to Elizabeth, his wife, his soulmate, Timmy is a literal nobody – not anyone special in the slightest.

Simply put, as much as it fucking hurts, and he wishes things were different – Elizabeth deserves so much fucking better than this, and he can’t be the one that breaks up their family, he just can’t.

“I’m not the one that needs your excuses, Armie, and you know it.” Timmy sighs, chewing on his bottom lip, like he always does when he’s anxious. “We… I – I didn’t travel halfway across the world to see you, to tell you… She’s your soulmate, and she flew all the way here, only to get sent away like she’s _nothing_. How can you… She’s your _soulmate._ ”

Really, that was the worst part, how easily Armie was able to send his soulmate away, it made something in Timmy’s chest break beyond repair. Now, he’s not stupid, he knows he’s only fixating on it because of his own soulmate situation, he knows that, but still, it all comes back to the fact that he thought his soulmate was a better man than that.

“It’s, Timmy, you don’t understand, I –” Armie desperately tries to reach out for Timmy’s hand, but he pulls it away at the last second, and the way Armie’s face falls, it shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. But he just can’t let Armie touch him, or it’d be all over – what little resolve he’s hanging on to, what little anger is left in him, he needs to keep a hold of it, or he’d let Armie right back in, and he _can’t_.

“No! No, you know what, I don’t want to hear it.” Timmy hadn’t expected to find himself yelling, and based on the wide eyed look of shock on Armie’s face, he hadn’t expected it either. Sucking in a deep breath, and counting to 10, Timmy continues talking at a much more reasonable volume.

“Armie, I can’t… I can’t even look at you right now, man. This isn’t who I thought you were, and I…” Timmy shakes his head, desperately trying to swallow down the tears he can feel lurking right below the surface. “I don’t know, I guess I just thought you were better than this.”

“Yeah, well, that was your first mistake right there.” Armie huffs out a broken, humorless, laugh, and Timmy has never heard him sound quite so defeated before. So despite everything, his first instinct is still to go over there and pull him into a hug – it’s nothing but a goddamn fucking miracle that he manages to remain still, when every single bone in his body is aching to reach out.

“Timmy, you gotta understand, I never claimed to be a good person, okay? And I definitely never fucking asked to be put up on this – this fucking _pedestal_ where I’m seemingly incapable of doing anything wrong.” The venom dripping from Armie’s words, it would hurt a lot more if he wasn’t already expecting it.

It’s still painful, because of course it is, but he also knows that the first line of defense in the Armie Hammer playbook is pushing people away, and what better way to do that than to make them hate you?

They had that conversation after Luca had pushed Armie almost to his breaking point, they’d had a huge argument that ended in Luca canceling the shoot for the rest of the day to let them all cool off before they said anything they’d regret. Armie had confided in him later that day, said that usually when he felt backed into a corner like that, he always made sure to lash out first – to say all the things he knew would hurt the most, so that the other person would hate him as much as possible, and leave him alone.

Timmy had frowned, said that that sounded pretty fucking lonely, and Armie had laughed – a wet gurgling sound in his throat that they both pretended wasn’t there – before nodding and saying that yeah, it was pretty fucking lonely, but at least he could deal with the loneliness, had adapted to it after all these years, that it was still easier to deal with than the raw pain of watching someone giving up on him, even after he’d begged them not to.

And even though Timmy knows that’s what he’s doing right now, he’s helpless to stop him.

“I’m not gonna deny that I liked the way you treated me, because the constant look of awe in your eyes, it was heady as fuck, and gave me a high unlike anything else – but,” Armie cuts himself off with a wet chuckle, quickly wiping at his eyes with the back of his wrist. “I’ve never actually been _that_ guy, Timmy. He only ever existed in your head. I mean, I wanted to be, god you don’t even know, and for you I’d…”

When Armie cuts himself off for a second time, Timmy knows he’s never going to get to hear the rest of that sentence, and sure enough, with a sad shrug of his shoulder, Armie lets a single tear roll down his cheek.“I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it? I mean, it’s all fucked to hell now.”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess it is.”

As much as it pains him, he lets Armie walk out of Luca’s living room without even trying to stop him. Whatever it was they might have shared between them – gone. It appears that once the bubble breaks, there really is no replacing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this rock bottom? IDK, but I sure fucking hope so because what is thiiiiiiiiiissssssss?????????
> 
> Needless to say, these fucking assholes decided to go all angst whores on me, and I have zero control and I'm just sitting here all 😭😭😭😭 trying to get all this stupid angst out of the way so I can have my fucking fluff. 
> 
> I never signed up for this???????? 
> 
> Anyway, here's to hoping they'll allow me to actually get to the point of making things better in the next chapter, okay, good times, sorry for the pain, bye now ✌️


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to combine chapters 5 and 6, because fuck angst.

Timmy doesn’t know how long he sits there, alone on the floor in Luca’s living room, before anyone comes inside to check on him – but judging by the fact that his ass has gone numb, it’s been a while.

Of course, when someone does show up, it’s Luca, because honestly, who else? After all, it was his house, and he had joked several times about how he should be getting paid extra for not only directing the film, but acting as an on set therapist as well.

Honestly, Timmy had kinda expected him to show up much sooner, and he’s not really sure why he hadn’t. Maybe he’d gone after Armie first?

Armie had always been Luca’s favorite, Timmy knows that, and he gets it – or, at least he used to. Now he’s not really sure what he feels, the whole Armie thing is just a jumbled mess of emotions he can’t for the life of him sort out – all he knows for sure is that it _hurts,_ and that makes him angry.

He’s used to the anger, but he’s less used to the pain, and really, that only serves to make him even more angry. Which, at this rate, he’s pretty sure he’s going to be going home not only with a broken heart, but a full on ulcer as well.

Most of all, he’s angry with himself, because Armie was right – if Timmy hadn’t been blinded by the fact that he was his soulmate, then he wouldn’t have made the pedestal so high that Armie couldn’t climb back down without falling face first.

He’s always known that all people have flaws, because that’s what makes everyone human, no one is ever perfect – not even your soulmate. But, he’d forgotten. He’d been so focused on all the wrong things, and trying to keep his own feelings from bubbling over, from being too obvious, that he’d never noticed, that despite everything, he’d still been treating Armie differently than everyone else.

Being Elio and being with Oliver didn’t make things easier either, Timmy had never experienced character bleed quite as deep-set as this. He knew part of it was his soul calling out for Armie, that despite the bond being firmly unrequited, he still ached for it, still needed it.

So the fact that he was completely blind to Armie’s faults, until they hit him straight in the face, well, maybe it’s not so strange after all, and definitely more his fault than Armie’s. Armie didn’t actually owe him anything, and if Armie was a bad soulmate to Elizabeth, why was it Timmy’s heart that was breaking because of it?

None of this actually affect him, he had no stakes in this what so ever, it wasn’t as if he was the pregnant one, and he really shouldn’t have placed himself so readily into Elizabeth’s shoes – he had no right.

But despite logically knowing all of that, he was still angry. Angry with himself for losing track of what was actually real and what was fiction, angry with Armie for being a shit soulmate to Elizabeth, angry with Elizabeth for showing up pregnant in the first place and ruining everything.

Just, angry.

Timmy cranes his neck and looks up at Luca as he stands right in front him, and he can tell that Luca is disappointed in him by the way his lips are pulled downward, and the way his eyebrow is slowly climbing up his forehead. “Wanna tell me what that was about?”

He knows there’s no getting out of this without talking, but, since Luca is dumb enough to ask if he _wants_ to talk, then Timmy is going to shut him down. Because he definitely doesn’t want to, not now, and not ever. All he wants, is to get through the last couple of weeks of filming, and then go home and pretend none of this ever happened – if that’s even actually an option at this point.

Shaking his head, he looks down at his legs, picking at some invisible threads on his shorts and hoping against hope that Luca is going to let him get away with not answering, though he knows that’s highly unlikely even before he opens his mouth. “No. It’s – No.”

“Mhm.” Luca hums, sounding decidedly unconvinced, and Timmy lets out a defeated sigh, looking up at Luca, watching as he crosses his arms, and tilts his head. “Wanna try that again?”

“It’s… Armie – he’s just not who I thought he was, that’s all, no big deal, I’ll – I’ll adjust to it, I just… I need some time.” He knows he’s practically begging at this point, to be left alone, he also knows that while that would work on just about anyone else, it won’t do shit with Luca.

Luca has never allowed any of them to sit and stew in their emotions, and every time they try, he quotes Shrek at them, snorting to himself as he pokes them in the chest – or with Armie, the belly, since he found out he was ticklish as all hell – ‘Better out than in, I always say’ he’d say, and Timmy is so prepared to hear those words now, he actually finds himself startling when Luca doesn’t say it.

“Is that so?” Luca sounds so unimpressed, it actually almost hurts more than having Armie walk out on him – but just almost. “And who exactly did you think he was?”

I thought he was my soulmate. Timmy wants so badly to say those words out loud, but he can’t, not now, not ever. He knows Luca has already figured it out, or at the very least he _thinks_ he knows, but as always, there’s a huge difference between knowing, and _knowing_.

He doesn’t want to admit to anyone that he’s built Armie up to the point of idolization in his head, just because his name is written on his wrist.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs, already knowing that’s not going to be a good enough answer, that Luca is going to get him to talk whether he wants to or not, that is his super power after all. “I just thought he was different.”

“I see, and pray tell, what exactly brought that stunning revelation on?” Luca is so infuriatingly calm, and Timmy knows he’s playing right into his hand by getting huffy, but he can’t help it.

He needs to get this off his chest, needs to talk about it with someone, even if that someone was Luca, who no doubt would take Armie’s side. Or, at the very least, he’s sure that Luca is going to make Timmy see things from a whole other perspective, ending with him feeling like a total idiot.

Since that usually is what happens.

“Elizabeth!” Timmy spits out, only to sigh and roll his eyes when Luca doesn’t have any visible reaction to the name at all. “You know, Armie’s wife and _soulmate_ , she’s here! Or she was anyway, before he sent her away.”

Infuriatingly, all Luca does is shrug, as if that’s not a good enough reason for Timmy’s mood, or the way he’d yelled at Armie earlier, and Timmy can feel his anger start bubbling up again.

He knows he may have overreacted a little bit, he knows that, but the fact of the matter remains – Armie literally didn’t seem to give two shits that his soulmate came all the way here, and Timmy just cannot for the life of him understand how someone could be that cold to someone they’re supposed to love.

Least of all Armie, who – in Timmy’s eyes – has always been one of the most genuinely loving people he’s ever met. He just cannot for the life of him understand how he read him so wrong.

“Luca, you don’t understand, she came all the way here to tell him she’s pregnant, and he just… He sends her away, and then sits there and pretends like it never even happened!” Timmy doesn’t mean to start yelling again, so when Luca just arches an eyebrow at him, he finds himself murmuring out an apology.

He can’t help but notice though, that Luca didn’t react to the news of Elizabeth’s pregnancy at all, which only confirms Timmy’s suspicions that he’s already spoken with Armie before he came in here to find him.

“And?” Luca shrugs, as if treating your pregnant soulmate like that is a perfectly normal and not at all shitty thing to do.

Timmy splutters in disbelief, and pushes himself up to his feet, bringing him face to face with Luca, because _clearly_ , things were getting lost in translation somewhere between them, so it was best to close the distance as much as possible.

Also, he could feel himself getting angry again, and desperately needed to pace around the room, or else he’d probably explode.

“What the fuck do you mean, _and?!_ Did you not hear me? He just sent her away, like she’s nothing, who does that?” Timmy throws his hands up in frustration, and only barely manages to keep himself from yelling again.

Luca just hums, and lightly scratches his beard. “Well, did you at least give him a chance to explain himself?”

Timmy wishes he could say yes, but, that would be a flat out lie. He knows Armie tried, tried repeatedly to get a word in, but Timmy shot him down every time. Too busy with his own anger to care about much else.

Looking down at his feet, he shakes his head and mumbles out a quiet, “...No”

“I see.” Luca rolls his eyes, and Timmy feels a little bit like a kid that just got caught doing something he knew he wasn’t allowed to. He’s almost just waiting for Luca to bust out the ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed’ Though really, the look on his face is saying it loudly enough already.

“Did you maybe ever think, that there’s more to this story than what you know? That maybe, Armie’s actions, while seemingly cruel, actually are perfectly reasonable and valid? Or are you too preoccupied with _this –_ ” Luca’s hand shoots out and grabs Timmy’s arm, before he even has the chance to react, and makes quick work of pulling off his watch, exposing his soulmark. “– to even think about how Armie feels?”

Timmy gapes up at Luca, trying desperately to pull his arm back, so he can hide the mark again, but Luca is not budging. “How’d you…” He starts, but Luca immediately cuts him off.

“Oh please, like it was even hard to figure out.” Luca snorts, muttering something to himself in Italian as he finally releases his death grip on Timmy, and he can hide his wrist behind his back. Not that it really mattered at this point, but, you know, habits.

“I could tell that the two of you were soulmates from day one, Timothée, and besides, for someone who so vehemently claims to not have a mark, you still touch it every time you look at him.”

“I do?” He asks weakly, frowning to himself when Luca nods. He hadn’t noticed that, _at all,_ he thought he’d done quite well with hiding it. “Well, shit.”

He just really hoped Armie hadn’t noticed, because even though that would be a good reason for him to react the way he did, he didn’t want him to know. Not now. Not like this.

Running a hand through his hair, and messing up his curls, Timmy looks up at Luca and shrugs. “Okay, so maybe I was a little overly aggressive, and yes, a lot of it was because of this stupid mark. But can you blame me?! All I could think of was, if he can treat his soulmate like that, how am I supposed to trust him when I am literally nothing to him?”

“Who said you were nothing?” Luca asks, his eyebrow annoyingly arched, and Timmy finds himself floundering.

Truth is, Timmy’s brain had said that, convinced him of that – Armie had definitely never said anything of the sort, in fact, the last thing he’d said to Timmy before all hell had broken loose, was that his place was with Armie, right there next to him.

Fuck, maybe he should’ve kept his stupid mouth shut.

“I – I…” He stutters, looking down at the floor, startling a little when Luca’s hand gently touches his shoulder.

“Exactly.” He smiles, ruffling Timmy’s curls when he looks back up at him. “Maybe it’s time to actually let Armie talk for a change, and not just assume you know everything.”

Shaking his head, Timmy rubs his eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears he can feel welling up. “It’s too late for that, he – I’m pretty sure he hates me now.”

“Please, that man couldn’t hate you if he tried.” Luca snorts, index finger poking him the middle of his chest, which almost has him falling flat down on his ass because he wasn’t expecting it. “Besides, I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing about you. Just go to him, and for once in your life, just, _listen_.”

The distance between Armie’s apartment and Timmy’s own had never felt bigger. In reality it was barely a few footsteps, but right now, it might as well be several miles. Timmy knows he should go over there, should apologize and let Armie decide whether or not he was worth forgiving, so that filming tomorrow wouldn’t suffer from his stupidity.

But… It’s so much easier said than done.

Every time he thinks he’s worked up the courage, every time he shoves his feet into his shoes and opens the door, he freezes in place as soon as he sees Armie’s door, knowing there’s no way he’s going to ever open it for him, and turns right back around.

But he can also hear Luca’s voice in his head, telling him he’s being a fucking idiot, and that he needs to get a grip, and fix things. He’s already disappointed Luca enough for one day, so after hundreds of unsuccessful attempts, Timmy finally makes his way across the hall, and knocks on Armie’s door.

There’s no answer, and even though he had expected it, it still hurts a little. Knocking a few more times, Timmy eventually decides to check if the door is locked, because maybe Armie isn’t even home – maybe he’s out at a bar somewhere, getting drunk. Sure, there's filming tomorrow, but, after everything that happened, who could really blame him for needing a drink?

Surprisingly, the door is unlocked, and Timmy quietly toes his shoes off, and slowly walks towards Armie’s bedroom. Since he wasn’t on the couch, that’s the next logical place to look, and sure enough, he finds Armie curled up in bed.

Even from a distance the tear tracks on his face are perfectly visible, and the few pieces that were left of Timmy’s heart, tears themselves apart at the sight.

“I’m sorry.” Timmy whispers, when Armie startles and sits up, the pain in his eyes making Timmy’s breath catch in his throat. “You can tell me to leave if you want.”

Armie lets out a breath, and shakes his head, Timmy had almost expected to get thrown out, so when Armie whispers out a quiet, “No, stay, please.” He almost turns and leaves regardless.

He manages to stop himself though, once Armie’s words actually sink in, and Timmy carefully steps inside the bedroom. He sits down at the edge of the bed, being sure to keep enough distance between them, so that Armie wouldn’t get uncomfortable.

After all, there was a big difference between not wanting him to leave, and wanting him to come closer.

Fiddling with his thumbs, Timmy tries to come up with a way to actually start a conversation – it had never been this difficult before, and the awkward silence between them almost threatened to choke him.

“So, uhm, Luca told me I’m being an idiot.” Timmy shrugs, deciding it’s best to just go with the facts. Armie immediately snorts, and he must not have been expecting it, because he ends up coughing.

Timmy debates with himself for a whole two seconds, before he scoots closer and carefully pats Armie on the back. He doubts it’s doing much, but if nothing else, it’s making him feel useful, and it’s not like Armie was pushing him away.

“He wasn’t wrong, I… Armie, I fucked up, I should’ve let you talk, I’m sorry.” Timmy says quietly, once Armie has gotten his coughing under control. “I just – It’s too easy for me to go full on worst case scenario, and… You mean a lot to me, Armie, I – I never meant to hurt you, I hope you know that.”

“I never meant to hurt you either.” Armie whispers, reaching out for Timmy’s hand, but seemingly changing his mind last minute, clutching his own knee instead. “It was the last thing I ever wanted. I was… I was gonna tell you about Elizabeth, I promise. I just wanted…” Armie sighs, running his hand down his face, before looking up and meeting Timmy’s gaze. Armie’s eyes are red rimmed and filled with unshed tears, and all Timmy wants is to pull him in for a hug, but he can’t – he doesn’t know if he’s allowed, if Armie would even want him to, and the last thing he wanted right now was to make Armie feel even worse.

“You just – I get why you reacted as you did, I do, but, you don’t have the full story yet, Timmy, and I… I wanted, no, I _needed_ more time, to work out how to tell you.” This time, Armie does reach out for his hand, and when their fingers slot together, Timmy lets out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding, feeling more at ease than he has all day.

He also feels a little bit like crying, but he doesn’t want to start crying now, because he’s not really sure he’d ever be able to stop.

“I’m sorry.” Timmy whispers, his voice all wobbly from trying to keep his tears in check, and Armie gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

“No, you don’t have to apologize.” Armie says quietly, slowly stroking the back of Timmy’s hand with his thumb.

“But I do.” Timmy argues, nervously chewing on his bottom lip. “I called you… I said terrible things.”

Looking back now, he wishes he could take it all back. That instead of yelling, he’d calmly asked Armie why Elizabeth wasn’t joining them for dinner when he’d seen her earlier that day, maybe then, he wouldn’t have broken his own heart so completely, and Armie wouldn’t have been here, in bed, crying.

Most of all, he just wishes he’d let Armie speak. If he could change just one thing, it’d be that.

“You weren’t wrong though, I’m not a good guy, Timmy. But Elizabeth… She, we – it’s been over for a while.” Timmy’s brain comes screeching to a halt, because what? They’re soulmates, how can they be over? Timmy had seen Armie’s mark, it was right there, nothing about that suggested they were over.

He cannot for the life of him get that to make sense, especially not with the pregnancy and everything.

“What? But –” Timmy hesitantly points towards Armie’s chest, where he knows his soulmark is hiding beneath his shirt, it’s been a while since he’d seen it, since Armie was always either wearing shirts and he got it covered when they were doing shirtless scenes, but he knew it was there.

It was practically seared into his brain, there was no unseeing it.

“Oh, you mean the soulmate thing?” Armie shrugs, and Timmy nods, because of course he means the fucking soulmate thing. “Yeah, well, turns out that’s not a guarantee for a happy ending.”

Technically, he knew that – after all, he was the one with the unrequited bond, and his sister’s soulmate died before she even had a chance to meet him, if anyone knew that having a soulmate didn’t guarantee shit, it was him.

But it still takes him by surprise, because he’d always sort of assumed, that once you first met your soulmate and you found out you matched, that was it. Because while it was technically possible for soulmarks to fade, it was so rare he barely even considered the possibility of Armie and Elizabeth’s bond to break.

And what about the baby? Their relationship coming to an end certainly didn’t explain why she was suddenly pregnant, if anything, getting pregnant meant you were still committed.

“I – I don’t know what to say? I mean, I’m sorry, but, it just doesn’t seem like it’ll suffice… I – And, uhm, what about the baby? I mean, it _is_ yours?” Timmy feels like an ass for even asking, but, again, a baby usually didn’t mean a relationship was ending. Did it?

He’d heard Pauline talk about how sometimes couples had another child as a way to try and save their relationship, but that really didn’t seem like what was going on here, or Armie wouldn’t be talking as if they were for sure over.

Things really aren’t making sense in Timmy’s brain at all, and if Armie doesn’t start to explain things soon, he has no idea how he’s going to be able to fall asleep tonight.

“Yeah. The baby, it’s… Complicated.” Armie sighs, carefully pulling his hand out of Timmy’s to rub his eyes. “Or I guess, not that complicated, really, just…”

Armie cuts himself off again, clearly struggling with how to continue explaining, Timmy want so badly to be able to provide him with some form of comfort, but he also doesn’t want to impose on Armie’s personal space – it’s much easier when Armie is the one to reach out, because at least then he knows it’s fine.

In the end he settles for laying a comforting hand on Armie’s knee, and giving it a gentle squeeze before softly whispering, “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me, really, you don’t owe me anything.”

“I know.” Armie smiles, placing his hand on top of Timmy’s for a quick squeeze before pulling it back to run through his hair, “But I want to.”

Nodding, Timmy strokes his thumb against Armie’s kneecap, hoping to soothe some of his most obvious nerves. It seems to work a little, judging by the deep breat Armie lets out, and the soft smile on his face as he mouths a silent thank you.

They sit in silence for a while, as Armie tries to get his thoughts in order. Timmy would never dare to rush him, and he’s trying his best to be patient, but he’s also beyond curious to find out what actually happened.

The real reason why Armie sent Elizabeth away without even as much as a hello nice to meet you, after she flew all the way here to tell him she was pregnant. Because really, the pregnancy, he just couldn’t get it to add up with their relationship having been over for as long as Armie makes it out to be.

“Right, uhm, we had agreed, like months ago, that when I got back from Italy, we were gonna officially start the divorce proceedings.” Armie swallows deeply, and for a second, Timmy is so fascinated by the way his Adam’s apple moves, he almost forgets to actually listen to what he’s saying.

“I mean, we hadn’t been together in a long, long time, I’d even moved out of the house. But our marks were still an issue, I wanted to keep mine as covered up as possible, since it just made the whole thing more difficult – after all, soulmates aren’t really supposed to divorce – but she insisted on showing hers off, to keep pretending that everything was fine. And I… I guess I just didn’t have it in me to argue with her anymore.” Armie chuckles, and shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling as if he’s reliving some old argument, and lord knows, given what they were talking about, maybe he was.

“Then about a week before I was set to fly down here, I’d just handed Harper back over, and Elizabeth insisted I stayed for dinner, for old times sake, and you know, then we, uhm, had a little too much wine…” Rolling his eyes at himself, Armie almost seems embarrassed to talk about sleeping with his wife while wine drunk, as if Timmy would ever judge him for that. Besides, he knew where babies came from, thank you very much, so he’d figured that part out for himself already.

“She kept saying that we should, that we should… Uhm, _you know_ , just one more time, so that when we did sign those divorce papers, we could have at least one, recent, good thing to look back on. And well, I was drunk, and since wine makes me… Anyway, it happened. I didn’t know she’d stopped taking her birth control, she didn’t tell me, and we never used condoms after we got married.”

Timmy’s not so sure he likes the sound of that, at all. Because that makes it sound like Elizabeth tricked Armie into having another baby without his consent, and that was… That was fucking horrible.

He doesn’t even think about anything other than needing to comfort Armie as he pulls him in for a hug, but judging by the way Armie completely melts in his arms, Timmy doesn’t think he really minds.

They sit there, Timmy with his arms around Armie as he hides his face on Timmy’s shoulder, until Armie manages to get his breathing back under control.

“It’s… Yeah.” Armie clears his throat and hastily wipes away a couple of tears. “She played me, and that’s the only reason she came here. She flew, halfway around the world, just to tell me she was pregnant, and that obviously, this meant that we could no longer go through with the divorce – because who leaves their _pregnant_ soulmate?”

Armie is very obviously quoting Elizabeth at the end, and all the anger Timmy thought he’d let go of, comes bubbling back up to the surface – except now it’s Elizabeth he wants to yell at. And quite possibly punch in the face, even though that’s not at all a good look. But then neither is fucking tricking your soulmate into making a baby he doesn’t even want.

At a loss for words, Timmy takes Armie’s hand, and envelopes it in his own, desperately hoping that Armie can feel just how much his soul is aching for him right now. “I… Armie, I’m _so_ sorry. Fuck I don’t –” He trails off, not knowing what he could even say to make things better.

Armie just shrugs, but Timmy can see a new wave of tears welling up in his eyes, mirroring the tears Timmy feels himself losing the battle with as they start rolling down his cheek. He quickly wipes them away though, not because he’s embarrassed, but because he wants to be someone Armie feels he can lean on right now.

He needs to keep his emotions in check, so that Armie will feel safe enough to let go of his own, knowing Timmy is there to catch him when he falls.

“I mean, I already knew I’d fallen out of love with her, that we’d changed, and were no longer the same people that met and fell in love all those years ago, but for her to do _this_?” Armie blinks a few times, as he tries his best to swallow his tears back down. “I… If anything it just cemented the fact that I made the right choice when I asked her for a divorce.”

While he had expected the divorce to be Armie’s idea, given everything Elizabeth had done to try and stop it, it still sent a little bit of a spark down his spine hearing Armie confirm it. Immediately after, Timmy feels like the worst fucking friend in the world, because really, what does that matter right now? He should be ashamed of himself.

Armie is trusting him with some really horrible truths, and all he’s able to think about is fucking stupid things that means absolutely nothing.

Just as he’s about to once again tell Armie just how sorry he is, about everything, Armie takes him by surprise – and makes his brain shut itself off – as he carefully cups Timmy’s cheek. His thumb softly strokes Timmy’s cheekbone, while Timmy desperately tries to keep breathing.

Armie bites down on his bottom lip, and smiles shyly over at Timmy before he clears his throat and speaks so quietly, Timmy almost thinks he’s made the whole thing up in his head. “You asked about my mark earlier, and truth is, Timmy… It started fading the day I got here.”

“ _What?_ ” Timmy finds himself blinking like an idiot, trying to make sense of Armie’s words, because really, how could any of that be true? It was just… It couldn’t, it just wasn’t possible. Timmy would have seen it if it faded, right? He would have been able to tell, wouldn’t he?

Armie just shrugs, absentmindedly scratching his chest, as if the mark had left behind some for of phantom pain. “Yeah, it’s, uh, it’s been gone for weeks.”

“But… No it can’t be, I… They covered it up with make up when we were shooting, I know that, but –” Timmy cuts himself off, he still couldn’t get it to make sense, and he knew he wouldn’t fully believe it until he saw it with his own eyes, but he doesn’t really know how to ask Armie to take his shirt off and show him.

“Can I…” He can’t quite get the words out, but apparently he doesn’t need to, because Armie just nods, and starts to lift his t-shirt over his head. Timmy’s eyes immediately zoom in on his chest, and despite everything, he still expects to find Elizabeth’s name written there, but there’s nothing. “… _How?_ ”

It’s a wonder his voice doesn’t break, it’s definitely a whole hell of a lot higher in pitch than normal, but either Armie doesn’t notice, or he’s kind enough to not mention it. Most likely it’s the latter, and if Timmy wasn’t so fucking confused, and secretly elated, he’d be a whole hell of a lot more embarrassed.

“I guess it’s true what they say, that some people are meant to be in your life only for a set amount of time, and it’s never meant to be forever.” Armie shrugs, like it makes perfect sense to him, like he’s had this conversation before. “Elizabeth and I… I don’t think we were ever meant to last. Sure, our souls may have indicated that we were perfect for each other for a while, and I do think that we were good together back then, fate didn’t get that wrong, I don’t think it ever really does.”

Timmy almost wants to argue with that last point on principle alone, because fate sure as fuck got things wrong, or else he wouldn’t be sitting here with an unrequited bond, and his sister’s soulmate would be someone who wasn’t dead.

He can tell Armie has more to say though, so he keeps his mouth shut, they can discuss their opinions on fate later.

“But then we started to grow apart, and no matter how much we may have needed each other in the past, how much we might have loved another, we didn’t continue to grow together. Instead, we grew apart, and, well, our souls no longer fit.”

If Timmy didn’t know better, he never would have guessed that Armie was talking about the end of a 6 year marriage, the loss of his soulmate, because he sounded far too… He almost wants to say lighthearted, but that’s not quite right.

He just sounds, over it.

“I… I’m sorry.” Timmy has no idea what else to even say. Armie might have accepted everything, but Timmy still thought that losing your soulmate, no matter how shitty of a person they turned out to be, it had to hurt.

“You keep saying that, but, I don’t want you to be sorry.” Armie chuckles, sounding strangely amused, which, makes no sense.

Frowning, Timmy tilts his head in confusion, because if Armie doesn’t want his sympathy, then why is he even here? Why did Armie even tell him any of this? Things went back to not making any sense, so fucking fast, and Timmy doesn’t think he’s ever been this confused.

He really doesn’t know what the fuck to do, because if Armie doesn’t want or need his comfort, should he leave? “Then what –”

“What I want,” Armie starts, before reaching for Timmy’s wrist, instantly making his heart skip a beat and his breath catch in his throat. He stares wide eyed up at Armie, shaking his head repeatedly, panic no doubt oozing from every pore, but Armie just smiles softly back at him, like everything is perfectly fine. “I want you to show me your wrist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, technically this could have, and probably should have, been two separate chapters, but as I said, fuck angst, I do what I want. Can't take the evil cliffhangers away from me tho, ehehehe
> 
> There are bound to be mistakes in this, because in case you missed it, i hate angst, and i only barely proofread it once. So. My apologies, and if you see any glaringly obvious mistakes, please just move on and pretend everything is a-okay 👍
> 
> But hey!! I got the worst angst done, THINGS BE LOOKING UP NOW, thank fucking god
> 
> I'm sure it doesn't need saying, but what Elizabeth did to Armie in this? BAD WRONG BAD NOT GOOD VERY BAD!!!!! Like, for real, extremely no good bad behavior. 
> 
> Also, all of your WHAT IF ARMIE'S SOULMARK IS A TATTOO theories have been the light of my life during these dark times of having to write angst. I love how, out of everything, that was the one thing that everyone agreed on. But no, it was real, and now it's gone. TO BE CONTINUED 😉


	6. Chapter 6

Timmy is pretty sure he doesn’t breathe at all in the time it takes for Armie’s deft fingers to unclasp his watch. He has no idea how Armie found out, but if he had to guess, he’d put money down on this being Luca’s fault – after all, other than his family, he was the only one who knew the truth about Timmy’s mark.

As Armie carefully pushes Elio’s bracelets out of the way, seeing his own name imprinted on Timmy’s skin, he sucks in a quick breath, while gently stroking his thumb over the mark, almost as if he’s reassuring himself that it’s actually there.

Timmy can’t quite work out what the look on Armie’s face means, but if the way his touch is lighting up his skin is any indication, his soul doesn’t give a single fuck whether Armie actually likes what he sees or not, it’s too busy rejoicing in finally being acknowledged.

“Did Luca tell you?” Timmy whispers, when it becomes clear that Armie isn’t actually going to say anything, seemingly too busy just staring at Timmy’s wrist to do much else.

Timmy would have pulled his hand back, to try and hide the mark again, like every single instinct in his body was screaming for him to do, if not for Armie’s death-grip on him – he really couldn’t move his arm even if he wanted to.

“No.” Armie says quietly, and Timmy almost startles, not having expected him to actually answer. “He… I mean, he definitely heavily implied it, but, believe it or not, I’d actually already worked it out on my own.”

Despite the soft smile on Armie’s face, Timmy feels ice cold fear shoot through his veins.

To anyone else, it probably looks like Armie is actually quite pleased with being right about both the location and the content of Timmy’s mark, but Timmy is not so sure. Because fact of the matter is, Armie is way too good of an actor for Timmy to be able to really read anything but what Armie actually wants him to on his face.

And if Armie doesn’t want him to freak out, he’d know he would have to keep calm and let Timmy keep believing that everything is fine, even if it isn’t.

As if freaking out about Armie possibly freaking out isn’t bad enough, Timmy is also faced with the fact that not only Luca, but Armie too, had been able to accurately figure out his mark, when he’d been so careful with hiding it.

He was so sure he’d done everything possible to convince people he didn’t even have a mark, that he was one of the lucky unlucky ones whose fate was completely up to himself, only to have that belief thrown right back in his face, twice in the same goddamn day.

If he’s being quite honest, the fact that he’d apparently been so fucking obvious with it, without even realizing, it scared the shit out of him. He didn’t fucking like it at all.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” Timmy chokes out, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Because despite the fact that Armie is still sat there, smiling down at Timmy’s wrist, as if he wants to save the image in his mind forever, Timmy is still half convinced that at any second now, Armie is going to drop his arm and run out of the room like his hair was on fire, never wanting to talk to him again. Or, he’s going to get really angry, shouting at Timmy to leave and never come back.

It’s got to be one or the other, because fate hasn’t been on his side in a long ass time, and good things very rarely happened to him in his personal life, so why the fuck would it change now?

“You don’t have to apologize.” Armie murmurs, lifting Timmy’s wrist to his mouth and pressing a soft kiss to the mark, making a shiver run down Timmy’s spine. “You have no idea how happy I am that I was actually right.”

“You are?” Timmy croaks out, having fully expected this all turning to shit, and now that it’s not, he’s not really sure what to do.

But as all of his anxiety leaves his body in one go, he finds himself feeling more than a little shaky, but also extremely happy, all at the same time.

He can’t believe he’s actually getting to have this, have Armie see his mark, and be _happy_ about it.

Timmy had barely dared to hope for something like this, his dreams he couldn’t control, but every morning after waking up from one where he tells Armie the truth and they fall into bed together, he’d completely smother that one stubborn glimmer of hope he’d always feel in the back of his mind.

Because he knew that reality would never be that kind. Or at least, he thought he knew, because here he is, and reality is somehow even better than any of his dreams ever were.

“Of course I am.” Armie smiles, pulling on Timmy’s arm to bring him closer, pressing a kiss to his forehead, wrapping his arms around him before whispering in his ear. “I’ve been falling a little more in love with you every single day we’ve been here.”

“Oh.” Timmy sucks in a breath, and pulls back to look up at Armie’s smiling face, feeling his lips quirk up at their own volition, happiness no doubt shining through every single one of his pores. “Me too. With you. I – uhm…”

Deciding to just say fuck it, and throw caution to the wind, for once in his fucking life, Timmy carefully traces the adorable wrinkles next to Armie’s eye with his fingertips, smiling softly to himself when it only seems to make Armie smile more, and the wrinkles deepen and become more pronounced.

“I’ve been having a real hard time remembering where Elio ends and Timmy begins, –” Timmy whispers, his eyes flicking down to Armie’s lips and back up again, and his tongue comes out to wet his lips without Timmy even really noticing. “– because everywhere I look there’s only you, whether it’s as Oliver or Armie, you’re all I ever see.”

Timmy honestly almost forgets to breathe again, as the force of Armie’s – frankly fucking gorgeous – smile hits him straight in the gut. The amount of _love_ in his eyes, Timmy never thought he’d see the day when that would be directed at him.

Being Elio, yes, he’d seen it then, because there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that Oliver loved Elio with every fiber of his being. But to experience it now, as Timothée, it was completely different, simply because it was _real_.

“You have no idea, how good it feels to hear you say that.” Armie breathes out, a lone tear rolling down his cheek, even as he’s smiling so widely his cheeks no doubt have had to start aching. “I thought, I honestly thought I’d fucked it all up, that I’d lost you before I even got to have you, and…”

Timmy cuts Armie off with a shake of his head, leaning in to rest his forehead against Armie’s, and closing his eyes. He could feel Armie’s shaky breaths on his lips, and it made him smile softly to himself. “That wasn’t your fault.” He whispers.

“That was all me, my stupid anxiety, as well as my general distaste for all things soulmate related and my fear of losing you, all coming to a weird collision.” Timmy sighs, sitting up straight and rubbing his eyes. “It’s… It was never you, it was all just my issues, and I should have never taken them out on you the way that I did.”

“I don’t blame you.” Armie says quietly, reaching out for Timmy’s hand. “From your point of view, it did look pretty damn awful, and with your mark… I completely understand why you reacted as you did, Timmy. It’s perfectly normal, _I’m_ the one that should apologize.”

Timmy frowns, and goes to disagree with Armie again, when he silences him by touching his finger to Timmy’s lips. “No, shh, please, I need to… Just, let me explain.” When Timmy nods, Armie continues talking as if he’d never been interrupted at all.

“I mean, Timmy, I _knew_ , or at least, I heavily suspected that I was your soulmate, and I said nothing. I just… I wanted to, don’t get my wrong, and I was going to, after the other night, I really was. But then Elizabeth… Anyway, I knew all that, and I didn’t tell you, because – I was scared.”

Armie shrugs, before running a hand through his hair, and sucking in a deep breath. He takes Timmy’s hand, and gently turns it around, exposing his mark yet again, softly stroking it with his thumb, as if it was precious to him. It made shivers run down Timmy’s spine, and he almost forgot to focus on what Armie was actually saying.

“I thought, that because you were hiding it, and claimed you didn’t have a soulmate, it was because you knew it was me, but you didn’t want me.” Armie lets out a little self-deprecating snort, as if he’s still not completely sure that Timmy actually wants him, and that he’s halfway expecting Timmy to choose to tell him that now.

He obviously couldn’t be more wrong, Timmy gives a subtle shake of his head, and lifts Armie’s hand to his mouth, softly kissing his knuckles. It makes Armie’s breath hitch a little, and Timmy smiles, nodding for Armie to continue talking.

Which he does, but he leans in to press a quick kiss to Timmy’s cheek first, making his face flame with an embarrassed flush, and his breath catches in his throat, making him choke on it. As he splutters out a cough, he hears Armie’s delighted laughter, and he decides that making a fool of himself isn’t so bad, as long as it makes Armie laugh like that.

Once Timmy has got the cough under control, having cleared his throat about half a dozen times in the last minute, Armie reaches out and entwines their fingers together, smirking back at him.

“You’re adorable.” Armie chuckles, “I’d kiss you again, but, you know, I wouldn’t want to accidentally kill you.”

“Ha ha.” Timmy deadpans, rolling his eyes as a smile grows on his face, and he punches Armie lightly in the shoulder. “Just finish your fucking story, asshole.”

“Alright, alright.” Armie laughs, holding his hands up in surrender. “Where was I? Oh, right, in case the reason you were hiding your mark was because you actually didn’t want to be with me, I didn’t say anything to you about my suspicions. But then as we grew closer, and I felt myself falling for you, I felt my reasoning start to shift.”

Armie absentmindedly scratches the side of his nose, and even though Timmy is in no way a mind reader, it was surprisingly easy to read Armie’s thoughts on his face. It was like all of his walls had come down, and he’d chosen to let Timmy all the way in, fully exposing himself in the process.

Timmy almost feels a little bit in awe at being able to read him so clearly, because usually, Armie was guarded to the nines – something which Luca fought him tooth and nail over, every single day.

He almost felt a little like he didn’t deserve it, but he also knew that if he ever told Armie that, he’d disagree vehemently. So Timmy decided, right then and there, to always try his very fucking best to be worthy of the trust Armie had so very obviously placed in him, and to trust him just as fully in return.

After all, he was the other half of Timmy’s soul, he deserved at least that much.

“It was no longer only the fear of you pulling back, and losing your friendship that kept me from telling you, because falling in love with you… If I told you now, I just, I didn’t want you to think I was pressuring you or anything, you know?”

Timmy nodded, because Armie’s reasoning did make sense, and if the tables were turned, he’d probably be thinking along the same lines himself.

“Yeah, so, it just felt like… Like if I told you that I knew, that in a way it’d feel like I was forcing you to be with me, just because fate had decided you’re mine.” That was the second time, in just one day, where Armie had basically claimed Timmy as his own, and despite himself, Timmy kind of really fucking loved it.

“And then, on top of all that, I still wasn’t ready to tell you the truth about Elizabeth, just because… I just, I feel like I failed. I failed at being someone’s soulmate, and why would you ever want to be with me when you found out about that? It was best to just, not say anything, because at least then, I’d still get to have you in my life, even if it wasn’t in the way I was craving.”

“Armie…” Timmy feels a little like he’d just been punched in the gut. Here he’d been, so sure everything he was feeling was nothing but a stupid side effect of his stupid soulmark, and he’d refused to believe his feelings were real, even though he could fucking feel that they were.

And turns out, Armie had struggled just as much, all because of that same goddamn soulmark.

“I don’t blame you at all. If the tables were turned, I know for a fact that I would never work up the courage to tell you anything. Fuck, I mean, look at me now, I didn’t fucking tell you shit. You did all the work, I just…” Timmy bites down on his bottom lip, feeling tears start to pool in his eyes. “Me hiding my mark, it was never about not wanting you, I promise you that, it’s… It’s – I just have a really complicated history with the whole soulmate thing. I’ve kind of always hated it, to be honest.”

He knows Armie deserves to hear the full story, because without it, nothing really makes any sense. But, how could he ever go about explaining it in a way that would make sense to someone who didn’t live it?

Sure, Armie’s soulmark had faded now, but when he’d had it, it had been a good thing for him, a positive thing – at least until the end. How could he ever understand how it would feel to have hated a part of himself so intensely, he’d rather pretend it wasn’t real?

Armie must be able to see signs of Timmy warring with himself on his face, because he scoots a little closer, and pulls Timmy in for a hug, whispering quietly, “You don’t have to explain, Timmy.”

“No, I know, but, I kinda do. If I don’t get it out now, I don’t think I ever will.” Timmy breathes out a sigh, and aimlessly starts picking on some loose threads on Armie’s sheets.

Clearing his throat, Timmy starts to speak softly. “My parents are soulmates, and I’ve never met anyone who’s more in love than them.”

He can tell that he’s confusing Armie, because he tilts his head slightly, and starts to frown. “Sorry to interrupt so early, but, why would that make you hate your mark?”

Timmy shrugs, because while he knows the reason, he’s still not really sure how to put it into words so that Armie will understand.

“I guess… I guess it was the way they talked about it. How when they met each other, everything else ceased to matter, that they just knew, that the only thing that mattered was being together. And I…” Timmy cuts himself off, feeling his anxiety start to rise, and he quickly shakes his head, before reaching for Armie’s hand and squeezing it tightly, needing something to keep himself grounded.

“I have always _hated_ the idea of not getting a choice, of meeting someone, and completely losing myself because the only thing that matters is being with them. Pauline, she – her soulmark, it’s, it’s red.”

Armie sucks in a pained breath when he hears that, and Timmy nods, squeezing Armie’s hand again.

“Yeah, she deserved so much better. If anyone actually deserved to find their other half, it’d be her. She doesn’t at all deserve the pain of knowing she lost her chance before she even knew she had it. But what’s worse is, despite all of her pain, I always kind of – kind of envied her, you know?” Timmy whispers, the feeling of absolute shame keeping him from being able to speak at a normal volume.

“Because, a red mark, that meant she was free, she didn’t have to spend the rest of her life just waiting to find the person who would make her a _we_. She’d never have to stop being herself. That’s… That’s always what I associated soulmates with. Losing myself.”

“ _Timmy_ …” Armie breathes out, looking like Timmy had just taken a knife to his heart.

There were tears in his eyes, and Timmy could feel himself choking on tears of his own, so with a shake of his head, he clears his throat, and puts on a rather fake smile – telling himself to just keep going, because he knows, if he lets Armie pull him into his arms now, he’d take the out, he’d stop talking, and he’d have to keep carrying the weight of everything for the rest of his life.

Which he doesn’t fucking want to do. Because truth is… He’s really fucking tired.

“You know, for the longest time, we thought you’d be French?” Timmy chuckles, laughing more freely when Armie immediately wrinkles his nose. “Yeah, my dad was ecstatic, finally a reason for me to actually put some real effort into keeping up with my French, because one day, my husband was gonna expect me to know his language.”

Armie’s lips quirk up, and Timmy almost can’t wait to tell his dad that Armand wasn’t French at all, but that in meeting him, he’d somehow still spoken more French than he had in a long, long time.

“Instead, I – I stopped going with them during the summer. I actually haven’t been to France in years, because… Well, I didn’t wanna meet this stupid French Armand that was gonna steal my life from me.”

He feels rather foolish now, thinking back on all the summers he missed out on, all the memories he could have been part of, if he’d just… If he hadn’t let his fears consume him the way that he had. It wasn’t even like going to France was something he hated, it used to be his sanctuary actually, someplace where he could completely reinvent himself every time they went.

Until fate ruined everything – or more accurately; until Timmy _let_ fate ruin everything.

“But then there was you, and you already had someone, and I… In all my years of hating this mark,” Timmy frowns down at his wrist, still not used to having it out in the open like that. “I never actually anticipated the horrible feeling of loss when I thought I’d never have you. In a way, it was like, all my dreams came true, because I was finally free, I would actually get to choose who to spend my life with myself, because being with my soulmate, it wasn’t an option.”

Letting out a sigh, Timmy looks up into Armie’s eyes, finding them shining with unshed tears. “And yet… The only person I wanted, was you.”

He winces as his voice cracks on the final word, he had hoped he’d be able to get through everything he needed to say before the tears start falling – because he knows he’s fucking useless at multitasking, and talking while crying? He doubts he’d make much sense.

“I tried, you know?” Timmy snorts, thinking back to his rather unsuccessful attempt at distancing himself from Armie. “I tried really hard to not fall for you. I fought it every step of the way, but you… There’s just something about you, you’re – loving you, it’s so easy. You don’t make me feel like I’ve lost myself, if anything, I feel like I’ve finally _found_ myself.”

Lowering his final defenses, Timmy lets everything he’s feeling show on his face, and he knows he’s succeeded in getting his message across, when Armie looks a little like he’s been punched in the face, but a lot like he’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

It’s absolutely breathtaking, being on the receiving end of all the love that’s shining through Armie’s eyes at the moment, and Timmy hopes it’ll never fade, that they manage to keep it there until the end of days.

“Being here with you, Armie, I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure of who I am.” Timmy smiles, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Armie’s nose, giggling a little when it scrunches up under his lips. “Because who I am, is someone who loves you, with everything I’ve got.”

“I love you, too.” Armie chokes out, tears streaming freely down his face, but his smile has never been brighter. “I never thought I could feel anything like this, but you, you’re everything I never even dared to dream of.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't find a good place to end this chapter, so it just kinda... stops. 
> 
> I think we're very very close to the end, I almost want to say that the next chapter is it, but then, I mean, we know me. Catch me in another 10 chapters still saying the end is close. 
> 
> Still, I think the end is close. 
> 
> As always, I hope you're staying safe and healthy, and I hope that this could keep you entertained and distracted, even for a little while ❤️


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This totally didn't take forever at all
> 
> Despite the wordcount, I'm not splitting this chapter in two because I'm ashamed of myself for keeping you waiting this long as is. Think of it as a very belated gift.

Sleeping next to Armie that night, it was the best night’s sleep Timmy had gotten since that day when he realized the name on his wrist was Armie’s. It’s almost a little funny, how both the reason, and the cure, for his insomnia turned out to be the very same thing.

Or more accurately, the same person.

It was almost as if, after discovering that Armie was his soulmate, his soul couldn’t quite rest until everything was resolved. He had noticed that he’d been feeling a little more distracted lately, been having a harder time to focus on the tasks at hand, and not to mention the irritability.

He had realized pretty early on that that was because of the whole soulmate thing, but he hadn’t realized just how fucking exhausting it all had been, until it went away.

It truly was as if the weight of the world had finally been lifted off his shoulders, and for the first time in his life, he understood now why Pauline needed medication to fall asleep – because if that is how she felt, every single day, maybe she wasn’t as lucky as he’d thought.

Even though they had agreed to keep the change in their relationship private, at least until the end of filming, so they could try and remain as professional as possible on set, they quickly realized they’d forgotten to factor in the Luca of it all.

He’d taken one single look at them, as they arrived together, and had let out a loud cackle, before hurrying over to give them a hug.

“I told you so.” He said gleefully as he stepped back, his grin widening even further as he noticed their blushing faces. “Ah, you thought you could hide? From me? HAH!” Luca shook his head and muttered something in Italian, before patting them both on the cheek. “You forget, I’m Luca.”

So naturally, after that, everyone found out.

Nobody seemed surprised though, which actually did catch Timmy quite a bit off guard. Not only because he’d genuinely thought he’d managed to hide the whole soulmate thing pretty well, but also because Armie was married, married to what _everyone_ knew was his soulmate. And yet, when they found about that Timmy and Armie were now a thing, nobody even batted an eyelash.

Michael had even gone as far as saying “About fucking time, guys.” and Timmy had been so perplexed at his reaction that he’d walked right into a door, forgetting to actually open it first, much to Armie’s amusement.

“I don’t get it.” Timmy whispers a little later, after they’ve finished hair and make up, and have found a nice place in the shade to chill out while they wait for Luca and Sayombhu to finish setting the camera up just right.

“Get what?” Armie murmurs, pulling Timmy closer to his side as he wraps an arm around his shoulder, and Timmy feels the warmth of his touch all the way into his core.

He loved that they could do this now, that he was free to soak up every little bit of affection Armie sent his way, and not only that, he would be able to go to bed at night, knowing that every single one of Armie’s touches meant exactly what Timmy wanted them to.

Wishful thinking and harsh reality checks were a thing of the past, he truly could just enjoy Armie’s presence, and the lovely little touches, without having to worry about when the other shoe would drop. It was going to take some getting used to, for sure, but, he could definitely see himself getting used to it, and probably fairly quickly.

Shrugging his shoulder, being careful not to dislodge Armie’s grip on him, Timmy turns to look at Armie with a small smile on his face. “I just, I don’t get why none of them are surprised by this. Us.”

Armie lets out a little snort, and Timmy can’t help but frown, because he doesn’t really understand what’s so funny all of a sudden. But then Armie smiles widely, and leans in and presses a soft kiss to his cheek, and despite everything, the action still makes Timmy’s cheeks heat up with a blush.

“Timmy, baby, of course everyone already knew.” Armie chuckles, licking his lips and leaning closer, practically making Timmy go cross eyed as he tries to keep eye-contact. “I wasn’t exactly subtle with my flirting.”

Armie punctuates his statement with a quick kiss to Timmy’s lips, and even though he’d been expecting it, Timmy still couldn’t help the slight gasp that escaped him as Armie pulled back.

He doesn’t think he’d ever get tired of the feeling of Armie’s lips against his own, and the fact that he could actually tell the difference between when it was Armie kissing him, and when it was Oliver, it made him happier than it probably should.

But he loved being able to feel when it was _real_ , because despite the striking similarities, Armie wasn’t actually Oliver, and the fact that they didn’t even kiss the same… Frankly, Timmy was more than a little in awe of Armie’s acting skills.

Frowning a little to himself as he finally realizes what Armie had been saying, Timmy tilts his head and pouts. “Well, I never noticed!”

If he’d known Armie had been flirting with him this entire time, he wouldn’t have been as miserable. But then Armie simply raises and eyebrow at him, and with a shrug Timmy nods his head in agreement.

“Okay, you’re right, I noticed.” He mumbles, looking down at his hands, “I just thought… I didn’t actually think you were serious.”

Because that was the crux of the issue, wasn’t it?

Yeah, Armie had been flirting with him, and yes Timmy had noticed, of course he’d noticed, he’d just never let himself believe it actually meant anything. Because it _couldn’t_ mean anything. Armie wasn’t available, so flirting or not, Timmy didn’t let himself get caught up in it – because it only lead to one place, complete and utter devastation.

It was better if he simply viewed it as Armie being playful, and part of their unique friendship dynamic, brought on by the fact that by playing Elio and Oliver, they had let each other in so completely, they truly didn’t know where one ended and the other began.

Really, a little bit of flirting barely even held a candle to the connection they shared, thanks to Elio and Oliver’s love for one another, and besides, Armie had Elizabeth, so no, Timmy hadn’t let himself notice.

“Because of Elizabeth.” Armie whispers sadly, and Timmy nods.

“Yeah, your _soulmate_.” He really doesn’t mean to say the word with such disgust, but he can’t help it. It still stings a little, knowing that despite Armie’s feelings for him, it’s still not enough. His name is never gonna appear on Armie’s skin the way hers did.

Because even after everything, he’s still not enough.

“Ex.” Is all Armie says, and this time it’s Timmy’s turn to let out a snort.

“You know what I mean.” Because even though she’s not Armie’s soulmate anymore, up until last night, Timmy had thought she was, so of course he hadn’t been about to get in the middle of that.

“Yeah…” Armie sighs, cupping Timmy’s jaw, his thumbs softly tracing the apple of his cheeks as Armie closes his eyes and leans in, resting his forehead against Timmy’s.

His breath tickles Timmy’s lips, and if it weren’t for the fact that Timmy could tell he was about to speak, he would have leaned in the rest of the way and kissed him. He still can’t quite get over the fact that if he did it, Armie would let him, so despite the subject of their conversation, he couldn’t stop the smile that was tugging at his lips.

“If I had known how much you were hurting over this, I would have told you a lot sooner, I’m sorry.” Armie whispers, and the pain in his voice makes Timmy’s heart twinge.

Of course Armie would lay all the blame solely at his own feet, as if Timmy couldn’t have been upfront about everything at the start, too. Neither one of them were blameless in this situation, but it didn’t really matter who’s fault it was that it had taken them this long to get here, because the end result was still worth it.

“It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you, so you’re not allowed to either.” Timmy says quietly, because he knows, without a doubt, that he’d go through all that pain and uncertainty, a hundred times over, if it meant he’d end up right here, with Armie, knowing he loved him.

He doesn’t know how to even begin telling Armie any of that though, so instead, he kisses him.

The surprised gasps Armie lets out as their lips meet, allows Timmy to quickly slip his tongue into Armie’s mouth, as their tongues first touch, a spark of electricity shoots down Timmy’s spine, and grabbing onto Armie’s shoulders for balance, he climbs into Armie’s lap and straddles it.

Timmy couldn’t care less about the fact that they were surrounded by people, they’d already declared just how little this change in their relationship surprised them, so actually seeing it shouldn’t be surprising either.

He has no idea how long they stay there, in their nice little bubble, making out like a couple of horny teens, but by the time they pull back, giggling like idiots, Timmy is already half hard in his shorts, and it becomes very apparent that they’re going to be in need of another visit to hair and make up.

Because not only are Armie’s lips red and kiss swollen, but Timmy has made a complete mess of his hair as well, and judging by the feel of Armie’s hands still buried in his curls, Timmy doubts he’s looking much better.

Unable to stop himself, Timmy leans back in and presses a quick, chaste, kiss to Armie’s lips. And then another, and another, and another, until someone lightly taps him on the shoulder, and he turns around to see Luca standing there, grinning widely down at them.

“Alright lovebirds, save some of that for the movie, yes?”

They hear a bunch of giggling behind them, and it’s not hard to realize that everyone had been watching them for a little while, but honestly Timmy couldn’t care less. He wasn’t ashamed of this, of them.

Besides, they’d get to see a whole lot more of them later during filming, after all, some innocent pecks on the lips were _nothing_ compared to what Elio and Oliver got up to.

They’re having dinner at Luca’s a few days later, and Timmy has just wrapped up a conversation with Luca about the peach scene – quite frankly it’s the only scene in the movie he’s really scared to fuck up at this point. He’d survived the volleyball scene, and he knew Armie would have his back during the midnight scene, but the peach…

He was gonna be all alone for that, and he, he just really didn’t want to fuck it up.

Luca keeps reassuring him that he’s going to do just fine, but Timmy can’t help but worry. Not only is the peach scene one of the most iconic scenes in the book, but what comes after, it’s important, and he’s just not convinced he’ll be able to do it justice.

After Luca has reassured him, yet again, that he wouldn’t have included the scene if he didn’t think Timmy had everything it took to accurately portray it, Timmy finds himself halfway listening to Armie’s conversation with Esther and Michael, and he can’t help the blush that darkens the apples of his cheeks as he realizes they’re talking about him.

About him and Armie, about them, their relationship.

Timmy still hadn’t quite gotten over the fact that absolutely no one were surprised about them getting together, but Armie seems to have been expecting it. So yeah, maybe he had been a lot more oblivious to the situation than he’d realized, but dammit, he was in the middle of a crisis, it’s allowed.

He can’t help but notice that every time Armie says his name, it’s with a smile, which compared to the short, clipped tone, he’d been using this whole time when he had to talk about Elizabeth, Timmy can’t help but silently gloat a little.

It feels good, knowing that he makes Armie happy enough that he can’t even say his name without smiling.

Another thing he notes is that Armie is consistently calling him Timmy, which considering how vocal he’d been about having his own nickname for him, having only called him Timo for weeks, Timmy doesn’t quite understand why or what changed.

He decides to ask about it as they walk home later than evening, he’d made sure not to indulge too much in the various array of dinner wines Luca had available, so that he could go into this conversation as clear headed as possible.

While Timmy didn’t think it was going to be a bad conversation, he still wanted to keep his wits about him so that he’d manage to word himself correctly. Alcohol always fucked with his vocabulary, and he really wasn’t all that fond of that.

They’ve stopped underneath a streetlight, because according to Armie, he couldn’t take another step without kissing him, and as their lips slowly part, Timmy whispers quietly, as if to not disturb the nighttime peace.

“You stopped calling me Timo.” He can feel Armie nod his head against him, but before Timmy has the chance to say anything else, Armie gently puts his thumb beneath Timmy’s chin and tilts his head up, pressing another soft kiss to his already slightly bruised lips.

“Yeah, I did stop, a little while ago.” Armie hums, slowly dragging his lips over to Timmy’s cheek, and giving it one final kiss, before taking his hand and entwining their fingers together, continuing their walk home as if they hadn’t taken a 10 minute break just to make out.

It’s not that Timmy necessarily needs Armie to explain himself, it’s just a silly nickname after all, but he can’t help but wonder what changed, and more importantly why it changed. Was it the soulmate thing? Was it something Timmy did? Or was it something else entirely.

Timmy had always known he didn’t do well with not knowing things, so with a squeeze to Armie’s hand, he asks so softly his voice barely even carries. “But, why?”

“I honestly just started it because I wanted to be… Special. Different.” Armie shrugs, a small self deprecating smile on his face, that Timmy isn’t all too sure he likes. “But, then I realized I didn’t need a different nickname to have that.”

Despite how hard he tries, Timmy cannot for the life him manage to pinpoint the exact moment when Armie went from calling him Timo, and started calling him Timmy, even with the added information.

But at least now he knows it was more an Armie thing, and he could be fine with that being all the information he’d get, but again, his dislike for not knowing things gets to him, and he can’t help but lightly poke Armie in the arm with a smile.

“Oh? What changed?” Timmy can hear Armie suck in a breath, as if he’s about to speak, only to watch him shake his head instead.

He’s just about to say that it’s okay, and that Armie doesn’t have to explain anything, when Armie turns to him with a soft smile on his face.

“Me, I guess.” Armie chuckles, and Timmy swears he can see his cheeks go red from a blush, despite the less than stellar lighting from the streetlights all around them.

“I kinda realized… I realized that I was already your favorite, and, that look you’d get in your eye when you looked at me? That was enough.” Armie shrugs, releasing Timmy’s hand to rub the back of his neck as if he’s embarrassed by what he just said. “And I guess I just knew then, that even if you’d never want to be anything more, didn’t really want _me_ , at least I’d always have that.”

Timmy almost feels a little like the breath just got knocked out of his lungs. He’s still not quite used to the fact that Armie actually has feelings for him too, that he’d been pining after him just as much as Timmy had been pining over Armie.

Never in his wildest dreams, did he ever imagine that Armie felt the same way as he did, especially not with the whole unrequited soulmate bond thing. And sure, technically the bond is still unrequited, because Timmy’s name is nowhere to be found on Armie’s body – they’d checked – but at least he knows Armie’s feelings are real.

He can’t help but be a little sad that Armie’s love for him isn’t enough to incite a new soulmark, but, it’s enough. It’ll have to be. Timm’s mark will just have to be enough of a statement of longevity for the both of them.

“But I did want you.” Timmy smiles, reaching up to lightly rub the pad of his thumb against Armie’s bottom lip, poking Armie’s dimple when it shows up in his cheek as he smiles. “ _Do_ want you, I mean. Armie, I’m always gonna want you.”

“I know that now.” Armie whispers, pulling Timmy closer by the waistband of his shorts, not even hesitating to lean down and kiss him.

“Good, and I’m never gonna let you forget.”

The first time they fuck is the night before they’re leaving for Bergamo. It wasn’t Timmy’s choice to wait that long, but every time he asked for it, Armie had said the same thing.

“My dick is not exactly small, Tim.” He’d grin, cupping himself through his shorts. “It’s gonna take a lot of prep to get you ready for me, and that takes time. I’m not about to rush this, and risk hurting you, just because you’re horny as hell right now.”

It wasn’t as if Armie wasn’t horny for him though, Timmy knew that, and they got really fucking good at getting each other off with their hands and their mouths – but it didn’t quite scratch Timmy’s itch.

He wanted to get fucked, and sooner rather than later. But no matter how much he’d beg for it, Armie always said no.

Until that night.

Luca and the rest of the crew had already made their way to Bergamo to start setting things up, so that when Timmy and Armie arrived the following day, they could get right into things. So for the first time, since they arrived in Italy, they had a free evening.

There’d be no dinners that last hours upon hours upon hours, stealing all the valuable time that Armie could use to work Timmy open for his dick. They had the whole night to themselves, and they didn’t have to be in Bergamo until late the next day.

If they wanted a chance to fuck before they went home, this was it.

When Timmy had laid it out for Armie, after dragging him back to his apartment after Armie started talking about maybe going out to eat, he’d laughed. At first, Timmy was a little unsure if he should be offended or not, but then Armie had kissed him, and whispered, “Of course I’m gonna fuck you tonight, baby. That was always the plan.”

So, sure, Timmy might have been a little overly excited, forgetting that they actually would need to eat at some point, but ordering pizza really worked as well as anything else.

And better yet, they could eat it naked in bed after.

Despite knowing how big Armie was, having both jerked him off and sucked him off multiple times by now, it still took Timmy a little by surprise just how much he needed to be stretched open.

Since Armie’s hands were just as big as the rest of him, Timmy had naively thought that it’d go quite quick, he’d never needed all that much prep when he bottomed before, and it had always gone really well, no trouble at all.

Turns out, Armie’s dick was just a little too big for comfort.

They’d tried a couple of times, each time Timmy swore he was ready, but Armie had to stop and pull back out after barely getting the tip inside, as Timmy clenched down on him so hard it was hurting them both.

“I told you,” Armie breathed out, as he slowly pulled back out of Timmy again, lightly rubbing his thumb against Timmy’s rim, as if trying to soothe it a little.

They’d gotten a little further this time, but Timmy still hadn’t managed to take much more than the head of Armie’s dick, and he was honestly feeling quite annoyed at himself for not being able to take it better.

It really wasn’t as if it was his first time bottoming; when he was with guys, he’d always preferred it that way. He’d just never taken anything as big as Armie before, and miscalculated the time it’d take to prep him a little.

Now he finally understood why Armie had made him wait.

“It’s gonna take a lot of prep to get you ready, which is why we waited, yeah? Just relax for me, baby, I’ve got you, I’ll make you feel so good, I promise.”

Armie softly kisses the inside of Timmy’s thighs, and even though it had hurt, a lot, he knew he was in good hands, and more than that, he trusted Armie to make good on his promise of make him feel good.

It took a lot of time, more time than Timmy had ever spent fingering himself before, and so much lube that every time Armie moved his hand even just a little bit, there’d be this truly embarrassing squelching sound – but after a little while, Timmy had learned to ignore it.

Next time Armie tries to put his dick in him, it doesn’t hurt nearly as much, and he was finally able to slowly sink all the way in. Feeling Armie’s balls lightly slap against his ass, Timmy doesn’t think he’s ever been happier – or fuller, because oh, _my god._

Having Armie inside him like that, it’s like nothing Timmy has ever felt before, he swears he can feel him all the way up to his throat. When he garbles that out, Armie laughs into his ear, and the way his dick moves inside him as he laughs makes Timmy whine.

It’s just so fucking good.

Try as he may, he can’t fully remember everything that happens, he remembers it being slow, with a lot of kissing – but he also remembers Armie mentioning he could feel his dick inside of Timmy’s stomach by pressing down on it a little, and Timmy is pretty sure he lost his mind right then and there.

He remembers coming, because his orgasm was practically punched out of him, Armie’s dick pressing on his prostate and having him howl so loudly he worried a little about the whole town being able to hear him.

Armie followed him over the edge pretty quickly after that, biting down on Timmy’s shoulder to muffle his moans. Then next thing Timmy remembers, is waking up, finding Armie passed out on top of him, and his dick nestled against his ass.

Timmy doubts that Armie remembered to pull out before passing out, he certainly can’t remember him doing it, and the only reason he wasn’t still inside of him was that his dick had softened, and they’d moved a little while they slept.

He didn’t mind though. It was a little gross, yes, but he kind of loved that they’d slept together like that. It made him feel, for a lack of a better word, complete.

Having to say goodbye to everyone really sucked, he was really glad he and Armie still had a few days left to shoot, but leaving Crema… He might have shed a few tears.

Timmy had lunch with Esther, while Armie and Michael took a final trip through the city, and Timmy couldn’t help but feel a little worried about what the future held. Esther had proven to be a truly excellent conversation partner, and he knew he could trust her with pretty much everything.

“I’m just worried, you know?” He said around a mouthful of pastry, “It’s not that I doubt he loves me, it’s just… It’s been easy, down here, to ignore the rest of the world. But he has to go back home to Los Angeles when we wrap this up, back to _her,_ and I just can’t help but think that maybe – just maybe, he’s going to come to regret leaving her.”

Sometimes Timmy really hated having anxiety, but logically, he knew that Armie had chosen him. That Elizabeth and Armie’s marriage had fallen apart long before he even entered the picture, but he still couldn’t help but listen to that tiny voice inside his brain that said that once Armie went back to LA, back to his old life, and the baby was due, that he’d realize just what he was giving up on, and realize that Timmy wasn’t worth giving up all of that for.

There was also the fact that Elizabeth was his soulmate.

“Used to be his soulmate.” Esther reminds him, tapping him on the nose with a grin. “His mark faded, they’re not soulmates anymore, their bond broke. It no longer counts.”

“Yeah, but –”

“No, no but's.” Esther shakes her head, and steals Timmy’s last pastry right of his plate, laughing at the look of outrage on his face.

“Did I ever tell you about my brother and his soulmate?” While Timmy shakes his head, Esther chews the final piece of the pastry, and swallows quickly. “His soulmate, she was a bad woman, but he thought he loved her, because he was supposed to.”

Timmy had been a fan of Esther’s brother for a while, but he can’t remember ever hearing about him having a soulmate, and given how nosy French press tended to be, the fact that he’d managed to keep that hidden was nothing short of a miracle.

“She cheated on him, and stole all his money, a bad woman.” Esther frowns, “Louis was mostly upset that he didn’t trust himself enough to leave her, that he let the mark carry more weight than his heart. He’s with someone else now, even though his mark hasn’t faded and they’re not soulmates, he still loves his girlfriend with everything he’s got.”

Timmy understands what she’s trying to do, and he appreciates it, he really does, but his anxiety isn’t convinced. Because Louis didn’t have children with his soulmate, and she _left_ him, Armie still had to go back to Elizabeth.

And if there was one thing he was certain of, it was that she would not let Armie go without a fight. Especially not now, with the baby on the way. She’d only left Italy because she hadn’t brought anything with her, she had never planned to stay, she’d flown in solely to ambush Armie with the news of the pregnancy.

But LA was their home, they might not actually live together anymore, but there was still the children – that was a tie that could never be severed. She was always going to be a part of Armie’s life, and Timmy didn’t trust her to not somehow manage to talk Armie into going back to her.

She knew him all too well, and would know exactly which buttons to press to guilt him into returning. Timmy didn’t for a second believe Armie would go back voluntarily, or out of love, but out of familial responsibility? For his kids? Yeah, Armie would do anything for them, which is part of why Timmy loves him so much.

Just sucks that’s also going to be why he loses him.

“That’s great, I’m happy for him.” Timmy tries his best to paste on a convincing smile, but Esther just rolls her eyes and hums.

“Mhm. He always says, she might not be the name on his skin, but she is the name in his heart, and that’s far more important.”

Timmy feels a little like he’s just been punched in the gut, and he can’t quite breathe right, because that’s… What Esther just said, that’s _everything_.

“I–” He croaks out, and Esther smiles softly, standing up and walking around the table to give him a hug.

Whispering quietly in his ear. “You’re always going to be the name in Armie’s heart, don’t forget that Timothée.”

Filming the kiss of a lifetime, Timmy can’t help but feel like there’s a lot more of Timmy than Elio in that kiss. No matter how hard he tries to hold on to Elio, as soon as they start kissing, as soon as they start saying _goodbye_ , Elio disappears, and Timmy is left standing there clutching at Oliver’s shoulders all alone.

Because he can tell, Armie has no trouble staying in character.

He knows that’s technically a good thing, it means that Armie isn’t having the same thoughts that he is, that Armie doesn’t see this as _their_ final goodbyes. But even though that should be relieving, Timmy doesn’t feel relieved or settled at all.

He just feels, hollow.

Actually saying goodbye to Armie in the airport is a lot less painful than he’d thought it would be, mainly because Timmy had already said goodbye to him in those final kisses on screen. He had poured everything into those, and effectively closed the lid on the box of everything that happened in Italy, as soon as Luca called cut.

Armie promises to call every day, and Timmy has no doubts he will, at first, and then the calls will no doubt start to slowly fizzle out, and Timmy will have to watch as Armie and Elizabeth show up at award shows as a couple.

Never getting any proper closure, because he’s not important enough to actually end things with.

Timmy was supposed to stay at his own apartment, but it felt so… Empty. He just couldn’t take it, and he showed up at his mother’s doorstep just an hour later, carrying his bags and begging to be allowed to stay.

Armie does call, every day. Says he loves him, every day. Says he misses him, every day. Says he can’t wait to see him again, every day. What he never says, is what’s going on with Elizabeth.

Timmy can’t quite decide if that’s good or bad, and he doesn’t have the guts to actually ask about it. But Armie hasn’t stopped calling him yet, so a tiny trickle of hope seeps into Timmy’s cracked heart, maybe things will be alright after all.

Maybe Armie will still choose him, despite everything.

He had told his mother everything, how could he not? Pauline had already told their parents about Armie being ~ _the_ Armand, so of course she had a lot of questions, and talking about everything with someone who hadn’t been there to witness everything first hand, it was, surprisingly freeing.

Of course his mom calls him an idiot when he brings up his fears of Armie going back to Elizabeth, says that Armie had already chosen him, and that he should let him.

“Don’t push him out of your life now just because you’re anxious about the future, Timothée, you both deserve better than that.”

Timmy knows his mom is right, deep down he knows, but his anxiety has ruled his brain for as long as he can remember, and it’s really hard letting go of that. So to make sure he doesn’t completely fuck everything up, he starts going to therapy.

Armie still calls every single day, and with the help of his truly excellent therapist, Timmy starts to slowly believe that maybe everything is going to be okay.

A few weeks after returning to New York, Timmy wakes up to someone knocking on the front door. No one, except Pauline and his dad, knows Timmy has moved back in with his mother, so he doubts it’s for him, and let’s his mom go open the door.

Just a few seconds later, there’s a knock on his door, and his mom’s gentle voice calls out. “Timothée, darling, wake up, someone is at the door for you.”

With a frown, he pulls himself out of bed, he doesn’t bother trying to tame his curls, figuring whoever knew to look for him here has seen him in worse states than this.

He doesn’t expect to open his bedroom door and come face to face with Armie, and for a little while, he almost forgets how to breathe.

“How’d you?” He starts, not knowing quite how to vocalize his question. He’s honestly too shocked at Armie’s sudden appearance to even think clearly.

“How I knew where you were?” Armie smiles softly, and Timmy nods. “Me and Pauline have become quite the Instagram buds lately.”

Hearing that Armie has been talking to Pauline behind his back should probably upset him, mostly because neither of them bothered to tell him about it, but instead it just makes him happy. Happy that his – that Armie cared enough to keep talking to her after Pauline reached out.

Because he has no doubt it was Pauline that messaged Armie first, that was just who she is.

“Pauline?” He whispers, and Armie nods, smiling widely.

Armie reaches out to slowly run his hand through Timmy’s curls, and he can’t help but close his eyes at the touch. He’d missed Armie so much these last few weeks, having twisted himself into knots, expecting every phone call to be the last.

It was only now, that Armie was there, that he truly realized just how _exhausted_ he was.

“Yeah, I DM’d her and asked for your address because I wanted to surprise you, and she said you’d moved back in with your mother.” With a frown, Armie softly strokes his thumb over Timmy’s cheekbone. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Timmy shrugs, he genuinely doesn’t know why he’s omitted the fact he’d moved back into his childhood bedroom from their conversations. Because they’ve talked about pretty much everything else, including how much they both miss the serenity of Italy.

He could have told him, Timmy knows that, but in a way he didn’t want to give Armie anything else to worry about. There was already Elizabeth and the baby, he didn’t need the added weight of Timmy’s issues on top of that.

“Didn’t want you to worry about me.” He mumbles, feeling a little like a child that just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Because despite how much sense him not telling Armie had made back when he’d made that choice, he couldn’t quite find it in him to defend it when Armie was standing right there in front of him. It felt a little too much like a lie.

“Timmy, I love you, of course I’m going to worry about you. That’s what boyfriends do.” Armie says softly, pulling Timmy in for a hug, pressing a kiss to his temple, and Timmy felt his eyes well up with tears.

It wasn’t close to the first time they’d said it, wasn’t even that long ago they’d said it last, but for some reason, hearing those words now, had Timmy completely breaking apart at the seams.

“You love me?” He croaks out, and he can feel Armie stiffening in his arms.

Pulling back, when Armie sees the tears that are streaming down Timmy’s face, the look on his face is so broken, Timmy hates himself a little for putting it there.

“Don’t tell me you forgot?” Armie asks sadly, his thumbs gently wiping away Timmy’s tears, despite the fact new one kept falling at a steady pace.

Shrugging, all Timmy manages to get out is a whispered, “I…” And then Armie’s lips are on his, his hands cupping Timmy’s cheeks so softly, as if he’s something truly precious.

Armie kisses him as if he never wants to stop, as if they’d die if they separated, and Timmy has never felt more alive. Or more loved. Timmy lets himself get completely lost in the kiss, and when Armie pulls back, because breathing is still a thing they both need to do, he lets out an embarrassing whine.

“You thought I’d go back to her, didn’t you. For the kids?” Armie asks, still softly stroking Timmy’s cheek.

It’s a little disconcerting just how easily Armie is able to read him, Timmy really isn’t used to that. He’s not used to letting people get this close, and the only people who ever truly knew him, was his family.

He doesn’t really know exactly when he’d let Armie get that close, but he can’t say he regrets it, even if the feeling of being known is still brand new.

Looking down at the floor, Timmy whispers a quiet, and embarrassed,“Yeah.”

He’s truly never been as ashamed of anything, as he is of doubting Armie’s love for him, even though he promised he never would. Timmy doesn’t like knowing that he’s not a man of his word. He used to pride himself on that, and he can’t anymore.

Timmy feels Armie kiss the top of his head, and even though Armie is his boyfriend and not his mother, he can’t help but feel a little like a little kid just then. He still feels loved though, which he guesses was the whole entire point.

“That’s never going to happen, Tim. I don’t love her, I only want you.” Armie pulls him closer, and kisses him so fiercely, Timmy almost forgets his name for half a second.

He wants to believe him. He _does_ believe him. But, despite all the hours he’s clocked in with his therapist about this very subject, Timmy can’t quite believe he’s worth it.

That Armie isn’t going to wake up one day, and regret ever choosing to stay with him despite them not being bonded. Because Armie is free now, so why would he ever choose to spend forever with Timmy when he could literally have anyone in the whole entire world?

“You say that now, but we’re not even bonded Armie, and you know how as well as I do that those relationships never tend to work.”

The soft smile on Armie’s face does nothing but piss Timmy off, because he might be letting his anxiety rule his head – despite having worked so hard to not let it take over in situations such as this – but for once the anxiety is right. He knows it is.

If Armie chooses him now, loves him now, it doesn’t mean he’s going to love him forever. There is no guarantees for anything. At least if they’d been bonded, they’d know the universe liked their odds.

“Timmy, babe, look at me.” Armie smiles, reaching out for Timmy’s hand, lifting it to his mouth and kissing the back of it. “I have something I want to show you, it’s kinda why I’m here.”

Timmy watches with an uncomprehending frown as Armie slowly unbuckles his belt, and unzips his jeans. He doesn’t quite understand why Armie thinks flashing him his dick is an appropriate action right now, but, Timmy also can’t quite say he’s complaining.

He’s missed that dick more than a little these last few weeks, fingering himself just really doesn’t compare after having had that.

Then as Armie gently pushes his boxers down a little, exposing his hipbone, Timmy sees something that takes his breath away.

His own name is shining back at him, written in an elegant script, and looking for all the world like it’s always been there, even though Timmy knows for sure it hasn’t.

“Is it a tattoo?” Timmy asks dumbly, because he just cannot understand why a real mark would only appear _now._ He also doesn’t feel any different, and his mom always said that once you were bonded, you felt everything so much more, as if the love you shared with your soulmate got amplified somehow.

Armie just laughs, shaking his head, and lets Timmy gently trace his fingers over the mark. Timmy who is still looking at it as if he can’t quite believe it’s actually there.

“You’re cute.” Armie smiles, reaching down and covering Timmy’s hand with his own. “But no, it’s real. It turned up the other day.”

“You… We… It’s real?” Timmy almost can’t believe what he’s hearing, despite the evidence of what Amrie is saying literally staring him right in the face, he still can’t quite believe he’s this lucky.

That the universe is actually letting him have this. Have Armie. Forever.

“It’s real, baby, we’re bonded.” Armie sounds happier than Timmy ever thinks he’s heard him, and he couldn’t stop the tears from falling down his face even if he wanted to. At least they were happy tears this time.

“I’m never letting you go, I love you.” Armie whispers, pressing a kiss to each of Timmy’s cheeks, licking his lips as he no doubt tastes the salt of Timmy’s tears.

“Soulmates.” Timmy whispers, awe clear in his voice, and this time Armie kisses him directly on the lips.

As soon as Armie’s lips touch his, Timmy’s mark start to burn, just like it did when it first appeared. Only now, instead of only bringing with it a stupid French name of a boy he never wanted to meet, Timmy swears he could literally feel Armie’s love for him, beating in time with his own heart inside his chest.

When Armie pulls back, and repeats those same words back to him, Timmy can’t help but smile, because finally, he’s at peace. He feels complete, as if the final piece of his soul just returned to him.

When he looks into Armie’s eyes, he swears he can see himself in there, and he knows it’s true. They truly are one half of a whole, they were always meant to be. Soulmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asjfhdsjkfhsdjk i'm sorry you had to wait so long for this, but if I had let it do what it wanted, you would not be happy with me, and I'd be miserable and hate it too. So, you know. Took a long ass time, but we here now, we good, we happy. 
> 
> Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention everything that's going on in the world right now, but it's a lot, and I don't have nearly enough words to describe how much my heart is hurting for the people out there who face this kind of racist violence every single day of their life. Just know that I stand with you, today, tomorrow, and every single day after that. ❤️
> 
> I hope this could bring a little bit of light into your life in these trying times, I love you all.


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